Ok, hold up before you think I’ve lost my marbles or I’ve finally got what’s coming to me, I’m actually not really being visited by demon’s. This may be in fact because I’M actually a demon or even they are too scared to piss me off. Really, either option could be true. Take your pick dear reader.
I’m actually talking about sleep paralysis. Yep it’s actualky just as much fun as it sounds. The conspiracy theorists will have you believe it really is demonic possession but in that case it could be said demon’s are with me 24/7, so we’d be classed as friends.
So I’ve suffered from it my entire life, as long as I can remember. So typically 4-5 times a week and 6 or so bouts at a time. No wonder I’m so blasted tried all the time. I get both types but mainly the waking type. I have to admit the going to sleep type was a whole lot more entertaining. Hallucinations, colourful swirls, shaking room, voices (though I hear voices normally, some people may suggest it’s my conscience, I just call it a massive pain in the ass that needs to learn to shut the hell up cause I’m rarely listening)
I no longer freak out cause basically I’m conscious while my body chemistry try’s to catch up out of REM and I possess a very analytical mind that I’ve trained to recognise this. So I just go with the flow, so to speak. My options are fight it by trying to move a finger or a toe and then as soon as I’m “awake” I slide right back into it or just say fuck it and allow my brain to have some fun with it. Option number 1 isn’t really an option now cause my brain has a work around, I dream I’m moving the finger or toe and frankly if it does work I just slide right back into it as soon as I can move . It’s frustrating and annoying.
This diagram explains the sleep cycle:
So I let the demon’s take over. Hell they might have some wisdom to impart or I can mess with them. Yes I taunt my conscious brain while I’m asleep. The fucker should know better. Plus half the time I’m in control. Ever wanted to say punch your husband in the face but bit actually do it, but get to live it out? My demon’s can do that for me and it seems as real as can be, but it’s not . See they really ARE my friends. It’s actually oddly satisfying!
I do get visits from dead relatives in my sleep, those are real (Mr BMB has seen me sitting up having a good old natter with my Nan on several occasions.) He was weirded out to start with but just lets us get along with it now. These visits area real and she’s just passing need to know information to me (hell she told me I was pregnant with a boy before I knew I was even pregnant. Correct on both counts) or just catching up. I have no doubt they are real. I had a death experience when I as 7, I clinically died so ive had a glimpse at the afterlife. The bright light stuff? Bullshit. But again that’s another post.
The horrible thing about SP, other than just getting it which only irks me not scares me, is it’s got a genetic component and Master 6 has just started having it. Fortunately like me he is analytical too and will master it in years to come but the bitch thing is he’s too young to do that yet. It took me 27 (yeah I’m going with I’m 27) years to pretty much master it. So now he sleeps with every light on. That’s 6 in total in his room. It’s expensive electricity wise and his carbon footprint is huge but that comes second to a hysterical child!
So there you have it reader, I bet you learned something today and if not you are likely a sufferer too. You also learned my brain is even more evil than you thought. Didn’t think it was possible did you?
I should add in here I have only one other sleep disorder, insomnia and not narcolepsy which it has a high correlation with.
So I just want to say a giant thanks for nothing Mum who passed this on to me. Oh yeah and I tell Master 6 it’s your fault too.