I rarely, ok never really, come on here and not rant and rave about something that has given me the shit’s. Well not just the shit’s but pissed me off badly enough to write a blog on it. Usually a long blog. Sorry I don’t do the cliffnotes version of things.

So today is s first. No ranting, no raving and no name calling or finger-pointing. Well not in a bad way. It’s ok the earth is still spinning and I havent been possessed or anything, well that I know of. If that changes, the entity that has taken me over will let you know I’m sure. Plus honestly? I don’t think it can be more brutally honest than I am!

But today I want to say a big THANK YOU for every message of support, every message of encouragement and every person who has reached out not only to make sure I’m ok (though seriously I LOVE hate mail, it means my point came across loud and clear and those who the shoe fits got the message) but to also say they AGREE with what I had to say yesterday. Even my 2am rant that was full of sleep deprived mistakes and errors. You peeps rock! But I knew that already.

I have a solid circle of very good friends. We may communicate by Internet mainly, but they are some of the closest women in my life and they ALWAYS have my back. What I didn’t expect is support from others, whom I’ve always respected but I’d never expect them to have my back in the same way. Not because they aren’t awesome, they are fucking awesome, but because we aren’t as close as my “inner circle”. Who by the way rock. I’d leave my kids with these women and know they would be well cared for without hesitation, that says a lot about how much respect and appreciation I have for them. I wouldn’t leave my kids with most people!

To those of you who have written support and shown me not only respect but encouraged me in civilizing the world (newsroom quote), from the deepest recesses of my heart that isn’t black and cold I thank you. It’s small but there, promise! It’s meant a great deal to me. I don’t live for pats on the back, I don’t write for compliments (obviously) but what I do appreciate is an unsolicited message that says “Mrs BMB I totally agree and you have my respect and support”…. Because you took the time out of your busy days to tell me this, when you really could be doing something else. Anything else, but you chose to write to me. So for that you have my gratitude, my respect and most of all my loyalty. If you are ever in a tough spot, I will be here to back you 200%! Please remember that.

Oh and my anal OCD tendencies had me calculate for every message of hate or disgust I got 3.45 messages of support. Since you can imagine the amount of hate, imagine the level of support. You my friends are shining stars and made me making my stand, stating my unfiltered opinion and all the associated negativity well worth it. When the chips are down, you really find out who’s on your side, who’s not and who’s playing both.

So this is me sending my love and gratitude.

I was going to post this as words of inspiration and thankfulness to these individuals, but I realised you’re already there!



Never change xx

Ahh Hater's Going To Hate.

Well I hate to quote Taylor Swift cause she is super fucking annoying but so am the rest of the people I’m about to write about, so it fits.

Well Thank you of the overwhelming “fan” mail that I have revived in the past hours since I posted my last blog. I’m seriously overwhelmed by the time, effort and pure thought and that you all managed to take time out of your busy days to write to me. I’m truly flattered and this means that I really must have hit some fucking nerves. Awesome, cause that was my bloody intention you muppet’s. Or lemmings might be a more correct term…. I love watching you fall from the hill. Call me a sadist.

The piece I wrote was not warm and fuzzy, it was not meant to be polite and it was mean to point the finger at someone people who think they are Queen of the Internet and an expert cause they can bloody google… But I think my point got across, you might be able to silence me on YOUR site, ban me even, but here? I rule the bloody fucking roost and you can suck big fat hairy ones, cause I can write whatever the fuck I want and I WILL. Ohh no, that compulsive need for control that had you starting up your own internet site is all types of itchy now right?

Good, cause you and an uneducated cunt who has done more harm than good in the time I have known you, advocated for the most stupid and selfish things possible and taken the poor unfortunate plebs that believe what you say as gospel, with mixed result. You are an absolute danger to the world in general, let alone people on the internet and the cult you are intent on building. (though the number of sites you have been banned from is phenomenal. Thank to a former friend for that information, now in your inner circle. Yep she sold you ALL out… wonder who?)

So here is a clear message, hate all you like, call me all the names that you like, hell we can even go back to old games. but what I WON’T tolerate is being called a BAD MOTHER. Actually coming from the sources it has, it’s actually a compliment cause it you called me a good mother I’d be fucking terrified. I’m not perfect by any stretch of the imagination, no one is. But I like to think I’m the best possible mother I CAN be IN THE MOMENT and as parents that’s the best we can hope for. Of course on reflection I think I could have handled something better, made a different choice or something similar. BUT in THAT moment, I’ve done the best I can and if I’m lacking I have NO issues with telling my kids, apologising, letting them know why I might have made a bad call and explaining to them all you can be is the best IN THE MOMENT. If you have an issue with that I suggest you take parenting 101 and really look at it hard, cause otherwise you will be setting yourself up for failure. You are human too, we all make mistakes but it’s how we deal with them and learn from them that is important.

I stick to EVERYTHING I said in my last blog, actually I think I was rather restrained given my absolutely abhorrent view of the persons in question. There are not enough swear words, psychological terms or vitriolic rage that can convey my utter contempt for this person or like her or that follow her in general. You’ll know who you are, you fucked bunch of dumb amoebas. I actually think giving you the combined intelligence of a piece of driftwood was generous…. Drift wood has ZERO intelligence, you are worse than that, because you actually are deluded enough to think you have ANY intelligence. Newsflash Google is not a medical resource, peer-reviewed literature DOES exist for both sides of a point and just leaving out what you don’t agree with ISN’T intelligent or proving anything other than you have a single-minded agenda, that is purely selfish and you don’t care who gets harmed in the process. Even if it’s your own kids. FUCKING BAD PARENTING 101. But that’s not surprising because under all that bullshit is a very sick, mentally, individual who is a compulsive liar and a really bad one at that. The most terrific thing, ok one of them, about having a eidetic memory is that I never forget something I read and when things start to look wonky and like things are being pulled out of thin air to suit your story for the day, I’m the first to notice. Actually I’m sure there are more, but they just don’t want to get involved.

Screw that, I’m going to shit over you at every turn. You know why? I have this wonderful thing where I screenshot EVERYTHING I’m sent, I read and I find iffy. EVERY LAST DAMN THING…. So all those bitches in the past, you all have your own nice little backed up files with every lie, every rumour, every nasty thing you’ve ever said about anyone just sitting here, jic one day I decide to blow you all apart for fun. Normally I wouldn’t but after 5 years of  this sht, the fun value has skyrocketed. You might also think you have outsmart me by blocking me and all your posts being hidden, but you don’t give me enough credit…. chicken littles your sky will come crashing down one day (especially those who wrote the hate mail, you know who you are…. In the words of The Fly, be afraid be very afraid)

So this is a nice little reminder to those who have shat on me, intend on shitting on me, who have spied on me (oh yes I know who you are, people turn faster than you think), unless you want to release the dragon, who I should add is now supercharged, you’d be better off shutting you bloody mouths and just pretending I don’t exist, like I do you….

You may also refer to me as Queenie if you wish, cause the OLD queen, well off with her head and in with the new. You asshats have been warned.

Have a delightful night and weekend won’t you .


Just My Opinion.

Well today’s topic is going to piss a fair few people off. Specific people but to be fair I think you’re all uneducated plebs with the combined IQ of driftwood, so for the record I don’t give a flying fuck, you can kiss my skinny ass.

Nothing wrong with fat asses, but I exercised and dieted to get mine back after 4 kids with 3 spinal fractures and didn’t go the medical route of having half my stomach removed cause I’m a lazy bitch. I will point out there are 2 exceptions to that statement (E and R) so not referring to you, but I think that’s obvious cause you’re my bitches!

I always say I’m against Mummy Wars and I totally AM. I couldn’t give a fuck how you had your kid, breastfeeding/formula fed or any of the other competitive bullshit women are into. Unless you’re a bad parent, then I care.

Seriously in 6 months no one will give a shit and likely no one does now. They might ask but I really don’t think they care enough to actually be fussed, it just seems it’s part of the Mummy Wars or something to ask.

What I do care about is people who pop kids out like they are candy (yes I have four but mine are all loved, fed, well-educated and balanced… No candy popping here), don’t look after their kids and seem intent on building their own little secluded cult.

As a child development specialist, let me tell you, you’re fucking up big time and the fact you don’t care, because it’s about you and not the kids, makes you an unfit parent in my opinion. Yep I’ll say it, you’re an UNFIT PARENT, you need investigation and the best thing that could ever happen, for your kids, is they are taken away from you. Professionally, you REALLY need a psych evaluation and I can predict you’ll fail miserably. Smart money is on Borderline Personality Disorder and I don’t say that lightly cause damn that shit is serious.

Today I heard a tale of a parent who had a new child that made no fucking sense at all. Scheduled sections before term that weren’t emergency, IUGR that seems to be missing from the picture but obvious, a baby that appears to be in the NICU despite the claims of being healthy and of course how all the complications were due to the medical profession and not the fact that you’re a completely uneducated fool, whose been pushing their own agenda for years.

See I realise if you admit you were wrong now, your credibility is shot (if you had any other than your sheep followers) and basically you’ve been TRYING to pass yourself off as educated for over half a decade, with NO real qualification. I’m sorry universities that are based on the Internet don’t count nor do BS courses that have no real accreditation bodies. Frankly you’re an Epic Uneducated Cunt who should be locked up for not only being crazy but for child abuse.

Yes this seems harsh but fuck it, it’s exactly how I feel and I’m not going to mince words here cause guess what? This is MY space and you can’t edit me here. So suck that big fat one! Hey fuck HERE I’M THE QUEEN….

No pregnancy is not a “medical condition” but needs medical management because it’s in the best interests of the baby. But you know better right? Yes it’s natural, but so’s producing insulin and my pancreas didn’t get the memo. Sure women have been having babies since the dawn of time and the death rates for both mothers and babies have declined dramatically since we discovered this thing called medical management and preventative care. See preventative care doesn’t mean medical condition, it means preventing and managing any issues that may arise.

I feel the same about women who smoke, drink and take dangerous drugs when pregnant. Poison yourself, that’s fine. But you’re damaging your baby and that’s unacceptable. When you choose to have a child their health SHOULD come first and if it doesn’t, why are you even bothering? You’re setting them up for a life of increased risk of cancers, psychological and health issues. How is THAT being a good parent? Sorry you fail that basic test and I have no time for you. Even eating foods considered high risk cause you “crave” them is irresponsible. Sure the odds are in your favour but I’ve known THREE separate women to lose babies to Listeria and toxoplasmosis. Is it worth the gamble? Fuck if I can avoid carbs (being diabetic) and keep my sugars so regulated that even the hardest assed endocrinologist can’t fault me, then why so hard to just be healthy?!

I personally have had 4 complicated pregnancies and deliveries. With Master 6, perfect pregnancy, without the instant medical care during delivery I got in a medical setting we’d both be dead. With the last 3, just I’d be dead. I’m sure Mr BmB would love to be a widower with 4 kids. But my life was saved every last time, due to unexpected and unpredictable complications. Complications that had I said home birthed would have had me dead before an ambulance got here.

Fortunately I’m educated enough to know there are real risks, unpredictable risks and ones that need immediate attention. I’m not just saying hospital births, I’m all good with well supervised birthing centres and even well monitored home births. But free births (or free birth VBAC’s, fucking lunacy) and you’re fucking out of your mind! How a woman in labour or the Daddy can see disaster coming with NO formal training is impossible? This lesson was almost learned the hard way by a certain individual who missed a mild abruption for 48 hours. Had it been a total abruption and they’d both have been dead.

So today’s post is dedicated to giving a giant “you’re a fucking cunt idiot who cares more for THEIR birth experience than the actual focus on the joy of the BABY’S birth”, which is how it should be. Fuck this mentality it’s about your experience, regardless of the risk and maybe let’s think about how a REAL honest to god birth plan should simply be to have a baby in the safest and best environment FOR the baby. See the distinction?

As for the BS story I heard today filled with misinformation, lies and basic stupidity I’m filled with nothing but contempt. You really are a failure as a mother, because a REAL mother puts their kids first regardless of their personal preferences. That’s being a parent, a good parent. But you know fuck all about that. But like I said there are obvious psychiatric issues underlying this persons stupidity.

As an added note being anorexic and pregnant is not a good thing. All against medical intervention in any form but other than for cosmetic reasons. The mind boggles. Boob job next? Awesome. Cause bring in a medical setting to have a baby “dangerous” but gastric bypass surgery and boob job? Of course, why wouldn’t you?

Fucking insanity!

Oh and if you don’t like this post or my opinion I hope the door hits you hard on the ass on the way out! You’re just as fucking stupid as they are and we can’t be friends! Full Stop!

Know Your Consumer RIGHTS!

I’m actually sitting here on the tail of what has been an epic clusterfuck when it comes to dealing with a certain company, who I likely shouldn’t name because well I don’t really feel like being sued. Lets just put it this way, they sell designer apparel, at discounted prices, are based in Singapore and have a Head Office in Sydney…. If this isn’t enough of a clue feel free to send me a message an I can tell you in detail about MY experience with them, which is nothing but fact. So no slander/libel/defamation here, cause it’s based on solid fucking hard fact.

Now I’m not your average Joe, I have some legal training (law degree) and generally consumer law is something I’m pretty well versed at, cause basically I’m one hell of a consumer. Let’s cut a long story short, this business did something questionable at least, criminal at worst. For me that is a deal breaker, I’m not doing business with companies who think it’s ok to produce fraudulent bank documentation, just a random example lets not get too specific of what I could be talking about. Nothing too specific there. As soon as I got wind of this, all bets were off. I’ve been doing business with this company for close to 3 years and yesterday I closed ALL my accounts. Which for those of you who know me is a BIG deal because I love designer bags and I love not paying retail. If I was an Amex customer in their terms I’d have a black or maybe even clear card. Honestly I get confused to which gets me what cause I don’t use them. But I digress.

Now company has a said statement in their “terms and conditions” any cancelled lay-bys will insure a 20% deposit forfeiture. Seems reasonable…. Then when I was produced with a 2k forfeiture, I raid my eyebrows and though, they have to be fucking kidding me, this can’t be right? These types keeping of funds are to cover admin costs and any “associated” expenses encounter  by cancellation of lay-by. Well fuck me, near 2k to realist a bag, that’s been on lay-by 2 days (well 2 bags actually), that hasn’t been moved warehouse or actually had anything other than sold written on it on the website seemed, well,  fucking excessive. Otherwise their hourly rate is ridiculious!

Here’s where it pays to know your rights. There is this little thing that superseded the Trade Practices Act, Called the Competition and Consumers ACT (2010), funnily enough managed by The Competition and Consumer Tribunal. So I took a little digging around. Now it seems that “lay-by forfeiture” is not actually a legally definable or usable legal term, though used a lot (you’re welcome) and that any Termination Fee (it MUST be phrased like this, not the lay-by forfeiture) has to be justifiable to the expenses endured to the company….

So I posed a little letter that went something like this: Now the first rule of thumb in my book is to come out a little pissed, give a bit of your hand away and then follow-up with a blast you to hell legal letter that’s aim is to have them shitting in their pants if first letter does not work.

Dear Assfuck Company (ok I used real names but CC’ed in everyone I could find in ANY position of power… yes to the international CEO),

Due to fraudulent misinformation provided to by your company to my bank, there are serious allegations of fraudulent misrepresentations from your end I am being chased by my bank’s financial crimes services to investigate us both. This is not  only embarrassing but completely unacceptable. Due to the nature of your actions I wish to terminate ALL business dealings with you immediately .I request ALL money that you hold of mine on orders,  including deposits be returned on all orders, with no exceptions.

If you insist on keeping deposits illegally, regardless of what your “policies say” then I WILL peruse both criminal and civil proceedings. Being out over $2k due to this abomination is not something I am willing to accept. It is very clear that holding of such deposits when it comes to financial matters like this is not actually legally enforceable and a very black and white matter of law. May I please point you to:

You will find section 5 the most enlightening. I have summarised and highlighted the relevant laws, for your easy perusal.

Competition and Consumer act (2010), as I provided s5


The consumer may cancel the agreement at any time before receiving the goods. On cancellation, the consumer must receive a refund of all money paid, less any termination fee specified in the agreement.

The termination fee must not be more than the supplier’s reasonable costs. This could include storage and administration costs. If the supplier cancels the lay-by the termination fee cannot be charged. Termination fees MUST be transparent and available on request.

It is an offence for a supplier to:

enter into a lay-by agreement without putting it in writing
not give the consumer a copy of the written agreement
refuse all of the consumer’s money (except for the termination charge)
Charge a termination fee that is higher than the reasonable costs associated with the agreement or when the supplier has breached the lay-by agreement.
Each offence has maximum civil and criminal penalties of $30,000 for a body corporate and $6000 for an individual.

I Also include for your perusal:

When a consumer cancels a lay-by agreement

The consumer can cancel the lay-by agreement any time before delivery of the goods. If the consumer cancels, the supplier must refund all amounts paid by the consumer, less any termination fee that was clearly specified in the lay-by agreement.

There is no set amount or percentage for a termination fee, but it must not be more than the supplier’s ‘reasonable costs’ relating to the agreement – for example, storage and administrative costs. What is ‘reasonable’ will depend on the circumstances, and suppliers should be prepared to justify claims for reasonable costs.

I will take this opportunity to inform you I have NEVER been informed of a termination fee, just a deposit forfeiture, which are not legally interchangeable terms. I would also like to point out that the money you are trying to hold is not justifiable, in terms of your expenses and if I am to loge a complaint with the appropriate department I request full transcripts of my accounts, deposits held and will encourage them to fully investigate your company. You may have noted each infringement is a 30K fine EACH. After reading the relevant laws, getting independent advise and my own legal education i surmise the following:

1. Your Terms And Conditions are not enforceable due to poor legal terminology that makes them unforceable.

2. I am justified in requesting a transparent costing for how you figure your costs for my lay-by forfeiture its equal to 2k when I can list an item on eBay for $2. You have refused this, which by law you cannot.

3, If all moneies are not deposited back into my account 24 hours from now, with digital receipts I will forward on a further letter of demand, outlining other damages/costs that I have suffered due to this business arrangement.  (the bank closed down ALL our accounts, including business accounts for 6 hours. This is a substantial period of time and the figure I gave them, again would have them shitting their pants)

4. I will be reporting you to the appropriate regulatory authorities,  including the specific law breeches, a dated copy of your TAC as well as all correspondence where you continue to use the term Lay-by forfeiture. I will also express my deep concern at how long these practices have been going on and request a full investigation,

Given both of these you are NOT entitled to my deposits (as you call them) as they are not termination fees (not interchangeable). I WILL pursue this legally at will also go for costs as legislation clearly states you are breaking the law.

I hope to end this as quickly as possible with minimal fuss. But I will push to have ALL my funds reimbursed and you held accountable for your actions.



Ps. I suggest you get a new legal team (I JUST had to add that in for shits and giggles)

Would you believe this email was sent at 10pm at night, I was granted full refund by 10:30 am…. That’s 1.5 hours for them to do enough research and realise I knew exactly what I was talking about and I would take them to hell and back just because I could.

So the lesson there consumers, is KNOW your rights. Don’t just settle for the whole “statutory blah blah blah” and actually read what is said and the terminology that has to be used by the seller. Otherwise you have the ACC, the OFT and TFSO at your fingertips and they WILL fry them for you….

FYI yes I DID get my refunded but they missed a number in my bank account so of course it’s going to bounce back (should I be surprised?). More fool them, I rang my banks head office and emailed my branch and they will be looking for it so it doesn’t bounce back. Since the 2k is the 20% deposit you can only imagine how much they are hating me right now. Oh well, open door closes and another opens, I’ve found another Givenchy I’m IN LOVE with for half the price. WIN WIN WIN really.

Oh and how did they break the news they knew they had been legally outgunned?

As previously mentioned, we would have needed to forfeit 20% deposit as the cancellation fee. However, we are able to refund the deposit of as a goodwill because you are a valuable customer. Therefore, we will cancel all  orders as per your request and refund a total your bank account.

Yeah like that ever happens…. I bet give them 3 days their terms and conditions are renamed and the rules change. Screenshots taken and dated, all email correspondence kept and OCD pays off… Too late. Did I mention I filed a complaint anyways? Cause I’m a bitch. But for the greater good. I hope every person gets back what they are owed and those 30K fines add up…. Maybe I’ll want to buy a failing business? LOL (half kidding)

And FYI that was the nice letter….

But it goes to show, don’t let big companies try and snow you, know your right and be prepared to fight for them. Go a little BmB on them!


Question My Integrity!

There are many things that could be said about me, I’m sure a lot of them are true or at least halfway there. I pretty much will own any insult you want to throw my way because let’s bloody face it, I’m sure at some point I’ve been whatever adjective has befallen me. Totally own it. I can be a crazy, ocd, manipulative, sociopathic (high morality remember), cunt, giant pain in the ass, obnoxious, snobby, bitchy ball of awesome. No doubt. Throw them my way and I’ll just smile at you. Sure I’m keeping score and wondering how I can better myself to annoy you even further next time. But be warned, there is one thing that if is ever mentioned or questioned it will have you cut…. Literally and verbally. Of course I won’t do the physical cutting, I have people for that but retribution will be swift, it will be painful and it will be as vengeful as my sociopathic/psychopathic brain can muster.

If you question my integrity or loyalty, even sniff at hinting at it and then I’m sorry whomever you are, you just made it to Epic Class A Cunt level with the extra bonus round of retribution added in, just to hammer home my point. I live by the simple rule if you don’t fuck with me, I don’t fuck with you. If you even think for a nano second that you can question my loyalty or integrity then you have stepped into very dangerous ground and you better hope to hell that the devil takes pity on you, the ground opens and swallows you whole. I promise that’s a fucking carnival ride compared to the epic journey of learning that you are about to embark on…. I guarantee you that.

While I AM many things I’m loyal to the core. This doesn’t mean I’m perfect and I’ve never strayed into disloyal territory at some point, but I ALWAYS own it and guaranteed you will find out about it FROM me the instant I realize my gaffe. I’m an open book, I live a transparent life and I would never say anything behind someone’s back that I wouldn’t say to your face. Being a sociopath has its bonuses cause while I might feel bad and remorseful for my actions, because they reflect badly on me, I will still own it like a fucking boss. Hell you might even get some of the rarest words out of my vocabulary “I’m sorry” and “I apologise”…. Seriously ask MrBmB, they are only things I say when I truly mean it, I don’t use it to placate people and I sure as shit don’t throw it around like candy. Because honestly, I’m rarely sorry. You know why? Because I never put myself in a position where I need to be.

This week I’ve had my integrity questioned over money. It’s always money. You have it, people get jealous, they want it and somehow think that by knowing you they are entitled to it. To you I say, go and get a fucking job and earn it like I did. I’ve 4 kids, I work, I’m doing a PhD and managed to run several large companies whilst pregnant. With Master 6 I lived on 4 hours sleep a night the entire pregnancy. You grow a near 10lb baby at the same time and then you’ll understand. Until then, let me assure you EVERY red cent I have to my name, every grant, every scholarship and every successful business I’ve owned I’ve cried, bled, sweated, had sleepless nights and developed a now very well-managed anxiety disorder. I’ve paid my dues in spades. Honestly, through hard work and without the expectation of CHARITY.

I come from a traditional “broken home” I put myself through uni, working 2 full-time jobs at the same time as full-time, maintained a near perfect GPA and cared for a dying relative in this time period. The short of it is I busted my ass to get where I am today. I have ZERO time for sob stories, they will get the door slammed in your face as quick as I look at you. What I have time for is grit, determination and the drive to succeed. Basically if I see you in me, then we can be colleagues at worst friends at best.

What I HATE is the money divide. Like I said everything I/we have we have earned in some capacity. No exceptions. It may look different to bystanders who don’t know us well but that’s the truth. So if you think I’m handing over lump sums of money cause we are “friends and you have a great unthought out business plan”, I’m sorry I missed all the branches if I fell from the stupid tree.

If I offer to try to help you out, out of the kindness of my heart (this is now stone cold so unless you know I’m not referring to you) I will do my very best. What I won’t stand for us backhanded insinuations I’ve somehow ripped you off or somehow misled you. Integrity. I have it, in spades and to a fault. If it went to plan and let’s face it not all things go to plan, I suggest you look squarely at your friend who DIDN’T want to contribute, rather than suggesting I’ve taken what is a pittance in my world to keep to do fuck God knows with, know that. Because I will state here and now, I tried around everything else I have going on in my life and YOUR friends weren’t interested. Not ONE, so I suggest you look at them, rather than insinuating I’ve embezzled, stolen or taken from you. Because sure as shit that’s where the blame lays. Did I say this in direct terms? No because obliterating 100 of your closest friends isn’t something I really wanted to do… But you question MY integrity and I’m passing the buck to where it falls and it’s not here.

I expect the same level of integrity and honesty from MY friends and acquainted people. I’ve been let down in epic fashion and taken advantage more times than I’d like to count. Both in monetary terms and in a personal level. It only happens once and you are banished from my life forever. I am not an ATM, I’m not a constant means of support and if you come asking me for money all bets are off. If I offer it’s because I respect you, I understand your situation and I can help. It’s a choice. But begging and complaining, instant blacklist.

So to the cunts who questioned my integrity this week I have a simple message, go fuck your self cunt. I’ve done nothing but good things for you, put up with ridiculous demands (gag order) and I’m done. I expect an apology at the very least, some groveling and the admittance you are WAY out of line. You have 7 days…. That’s enough time for me to plot an act that will make you remember to never fuck with me again, stay away from me and that MY integrity and loyalty is NEVER to be questioned. Otherwise expect the BmB reaper to appear.

I will NOT fucken stand for it no matter the source, if you’re my “friend” and the fact you aren’t banished is out of respect to another individual. Remember that. I don’t NEED the pittance you are “wronged and you think I’ve stolen” Jesus I bought 3(!) designer bags today worth 10x that much outright. You’re talking couch change to me. Raid the kids piggy banks, I’m sure there’s enough there for you.

That is all.

GamerGate – Feminism


Ok I had an epic blog written on equality v feminism, stemming from GamerGate. Accidentally deleted it, my stupid fault, so cliff notes version it is.

It’s actually fitted quit well into piece 4 of my raising children blogs. Whoever said procrastination is the devil obviously never met Lea Michele it has seen how all things can falling into place when they are meant to.

We live in a world gone mad. My Twitter feed if full of GamerGate, being a non game to be this sounds like the Surviver version of last gamer standing wins. I’m not certain those contests exits but I’d wager on it. Obviously I’m not a gamer. The basic principle is the backlash about the over serialisation of females and associated violence towards women in computer games. Got it agree but may I point out a few double standards here? It’s in now in point form cause I’ve written it once and I’m kicking myself for deleting it accidentally.

I agree violence and over sexualisation of women in computer games IS a real issue. Desensitisation and the formation of normative patterns our children are going to learn. I the other hand if someone could point me in the direction of the men who look like The Prince of Persia or Assassin’s Creed type looking men, I’d appreciate it cause seriously I really can’t find them in real life. These games are bloodbath but it’s ok cause it’s men v men. I will add in here I find Grand Theft Auto appalling and yeah changes need to be made. The literature suggests the more men/women are exposed to the graphic images like this changed their psychological makeup. Things that shouldn’t be normalise are, for the worst.

I now would like to point out the HUGE massive standard where female models, movie stars, musicians ect are paid ridiculous amounts to sexualize products, make them sexy and use sex to sell. It’s ok cause they are being paid right? But can you have your cake and eat it too? Equal rights, does NOT mean “well unless I get paid handsomely for it”…. Media, movies, print media, commercial and basically anything used to sell item to girls aged 5+ have a sexual element. Since when did 5 year olds become sexual creatures and what kind of future are we setting them up for? A world of double standards. We complain when it suits and take the cash when it suits. Yep, selling out.


You wander down the toy isles in you stores and are confronted with slutty liking Bratz dolls and a multitude of unsuitable overs sexualised items for little girls. Though buy her a truck and people applause, cause why can’t have a girl have a truck?

Conversely I buy my boy a Barbie or anything pink and I’ve actually been asked, much to my disgust “are you trying to give him the gays”…. Well didn’t that idiot cop an educated mouthful on homosexuality being genetic and who the fuck cares. I want happy, supported children. Whether I go shopping for shoes with a DIL or a SIL no bloody difference to me as long as my child is happy! Don’t like it? Go fuck your self.

Which brings me to the topic of feminism and to the ridiculousness it’s gotten to so feminist we are working against ourselves. Taken board members on a board mandated due to presence of a vagina? Well you can shove that, I want to be employed on merit alone! The best candidate, not the one with the vaginal advantage. I’m sure some women deserve their places I know others don’t. What ever happened to the best candidate for the job? Yeh glass ceilings and Sheryl Sansberg (cunt)will see you s comic book on how were as women can have it all. What about boys?. Can they have it all? By not including boys and bring by being purely feminist you’re being discriminatory. She’s a cunt, so I’m not surprised.


So I’m left wondering is feminist actually the anti-feminist movement starting and the beginning of the end of equality as a concept?

I hope society matures to see these things but I doubt it. I will answer the God homosexuality debate her. God doesn’t make mistakes correct? Genetics ate the basis for homosexuality. So has he made mistake or are you clinging to an archaic belief? Remembering Romans too male lover before marriage, way back in the time of Jesus. Just food for thought.

Interesting piece by John Oliver. Love him as much as Louis Theroux!

Part 2 Of Raising Children – Girls


Yesterday I highlighted the absolute need for us as parents to raise our boys to treat girls the way we want OUR daughters to be treated. This is a bloody must and if you rolled your eyes at me or thought I was nuts, then you most well piss off now, because we can’t be friends. Fuck, I don’t even like you.

You might be sitting there, especially as a male, rolling your eyes as a man thinking “that’s just boys”, but like I said yesterday that is what WE have allowed boys to become. It is behaviour we have excused and taken as something that must just be put up with far too often. Before that door hits you on the way out, and hopefully hard, I’m going to make this assumption about the ignorant reader that just didn’t get my point, YOU don’t have a daughter. It’s that simple. Maybe one day when you do, you can come visit again. Till then, be on your merry way. See ya!

This is the SECOND step in my multi pronged attack on the way women, especially very young girls are treated by boys and men.

To me this one is just as important as teaching MY son’s to treat girls with respect. Actually this might actually be more important, because let’s face it there is always going tot be some prick out there that isn’t going to take on my sage advice.

This advice is for my DAUGHTER. It should be something we as women, as parents and even extended family teach to our daughters. To the point it is so ingrained it becomes part of who they are. It is the concept of self-worth, more specifically THEIR self-worth and how NO ONE can tell you your worth, you and you alone decide that. That people will treat you, in terms of worth, as you not only believe you are worth but by the way you represent yourself. No one can put a price tag on you, other than yourself and the lesson is, never to devalue yourself. Regardless of what others have to say, what they do or what they want you to think. They know dick. All you need to know, my dear daughter, is that you are worth FAR more than most young boys and men are going to try to treat you, you are worth FAR more than the way you look, you are worth FAR more than the amount of skin you flash. You are more than just a trophy or a bauble to be collected, a notch on a bedpost or even someone who is being devalued in a personal relationship or even professional one.

To my daughter, I say, you are worth the moon, the stars and everything else in between. You cannot be bought, you aren’t that cheap and you certainly shouldn’t settle for someone who doesn’t recognise who you are, what you are worth and treats you like less than you deserve, just because it’s what you have. Just because you have it, doesn’t mean you need to keep it. It doesn’t mean you are stuck with it. It means you should fuck them off!

What you are worth is the world, someone who treats you like the princess you are (well in context) and values you for EVERYTHING you are, warts and all. No one is perfect and while sometimes we need to change to improve ourselves, we should never change to please someone else. Well unless it’s myself or your Dad, but trust me, we are making changes that are in your best interests, not in ours. Though if you could cut back on the tantrums it would be appreciated. But even those show me, that you will be a strong, independent woman who will stand up for herself and not be taken advantage of. So while they drive me batty, my other instinct is to applaud you. Though this I won’t tell you, because dear child, you could scream me into deafness.

Here as some things I ALWAYS want you to remember: Yes I know I’m old, I’ll hopefully be older when you read this. But remember these are they lessons I learned, the hard way and my gift to you, if I can only give you one thing in life (well other than life) is the lessons I learned from MY mistakes. You may think I’m lame, that this advice is old person advice and I have no clue what its like to be a teenager or in my 20’s, but surprise, I was both of those once. I also urge you to keep this for future reference, for when you are my age to reflect back on and perhaps even one day add to it to pass on to your daughter/s.

1. You put the price on yourself. No one else. If you wanted to be treated with value, believe, truly believe, you are worth being treated that way. Do not settle for anything less. Don’t be convinced you have put too high a price on yourself and do not for a second think anyone who tells you anything else is worth listening too. Refer them to your brothers.

2. Dress in a way that conveys your worth. Sexy is NOT showing everything god gave you and ample loads of skin. It is NOT wearing a tonne of makeup to try to make what is already beautiful better. Do not cheapen yourself by pretending to be dumb because boys (not real MEN) are scared of smart women. Be comfortable in your own skin, own it like a boss and NEVER change because you think you need to to impress others.

3. If someone treats you like crap, they are the crap. They are NOT worth your time or effort. They will NOT change and the only thing that will change the situation is kicking their ass to the curb. I don’t care “if you love him” because this is NOT love, this is abuse and victim mentality. There will be others, they will be better and THEN you will know what love REALLY is. Until then love yourself, don’t be afraid to show you love who you are, embrace who you are but remain humble and kind. Be open to love but realise love is a two way street, don’t travel it alone.

4. You are NOT and should never be the proverbial doormat. You are better than that. Do not let people walk all over you. Conversely do not walk all over other people. Treat everyone (well except the douchetards) how you would want to be treated, regardless of how they treat you. Though NEVER forget how they have treated you, don’t take it personally and remember it for the future when they want a favour.

An exception to this is in your professional life, stay true to your ideas, your beliefs and don’t be afraid to be heard, push boundaries and go after what you want. Don’t compromise your professional integrity for money or people who can’t see your vision.

This also applies to any faith you decide to follow if any. But don’t be afraid to question organised religion and recognise that organised religion is as flawed as the humans that run it. Faith is NOT the same thing.

5. You are not a verbal or physical punching bag, EVER! These things don’t change, no matter how much the person “loves” you and that “it will never happen again”. They get ONE shot, they hit you or abuse you in any way, LEAVE. You have the control in this situation. Do not stick around to be bullied, do not become a recurrent victim. If they touch a single hair on your head in a violent way, threaten you or abuse you with words RUN,  file a police report and banish them from your life.

6. Just because all your friends are doing “it” doesn’t mean you have to. This can be sex, drugs, drinking, smoking, whatever. You have free will and free choice. If these people can’t respect your choices then they are NOT your friends and you are better than them. You should also NEVER be the girl who tries to pressure her friends into doing things. Friends support, they don’t bully. Girls are bitches, remember this. It doesn’t mean you have to be too.

7. Sex is NOT obligatory when you are dating/get your first boyfriend or at any other point until YOU are ready. Don’t EVER let anyone pressure you. If they want you for YOU they will stick around until you are ready. Otherwise they will just stick around until they’ve finished having sex.

8. We all make mistakes. Some of those mentioned above. They don’t define you, they aren’t who you are. They are lessons, you can learn from them. Remember what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. Be thankful for your mistakes and learning experiences. They will shape you into the wonderful, smart, independent and awesome woman you no doubt will become. Be thankful for them.

9. You can be whatever you want in life. I sort of draw the line at a stripper, because you have more than that in you. But you have every door open to you. It’s ok not to know at 17 what you want to do with the rest of your life, this comes with age and experience. But half the fun is the journey and the victory in finally realising who you are and what you want to be.

10. We may be your parents but we are ALWAYS here for you. You can discuss anything with us, however uncomfortable. If you decide at 14 you want to have sex, though I advise against this, please come to us first so we can make sure you are informed and protected. It might be uncomfortable but it’s our job to keep you safe, regardless of your decisions.

Finally I want to remind you you have a Daddy, 3 brothers, an older male cousin and a godparent who is a 6ft something miner and another who is s professional MMA fighter. Your suitors have to get past ALL of them…. AFTER me. I wish them luck!

This also applies to boys (my boys) also…. So feel free to look at it that way too.

Looking for contributors!

Think you can’t BiteMyBark? Them I’m looking for YOU. Since I’m back at work full time and I know I’m not the only crazy rage filled blogger out there short on time I’m looking for regular contributors. You will get full credit for your pieces, full reign (with my final editorial approval) and all topics welcome.

Politics (let’s keep it civilized and educated) I will not tolerate hate speech!
What peeves you

Or basically anything you can come up with. Think of my anonymous Soave as yours, pseudonyms allowed and give it a shot.

Doesn’t have to be a novel. Just an anecdote that got you riled up. Hell even patenting ones. But since I’m a little time pressed, let’s see what my loyal readers are made of!

Submit to

Part 1 in a 3 Part Series….

good men

Well we all know I love a good rant but we also know that I like to touch on subjects that need to be brought to people’s fucking attention. Like I said I never intended this to be a “Mummy” blog cause let’s face it those things are as boring as shit. I don’t want to see a million pictures of your kid, hear their “cute” stories or basically have to deal with any children that aren’t my own or part of my work. Though sometimes the rant world and that of children collide. So I’m about to embark on a 4 (I think, who keeps count) part blog series about raising children and where the fuck we are all going wrong. Well maybe not everyone, but majority rules.

I have three boys, they are boy’s boy’s and they are a handful. Goes with the territory. What I never expected, is how my view on raising boys would be tainted by also having a daughter. How my views on the males of the species would change the instant my daughter entered the world. Until then thing were as there were, I never questioned it and basically wrote a lot of horrendously terrible behaviour on the part of “boys/men” on the gender difference. I now write it off to a society that has an abhorrent acceptance of a culture where we raise boys to think it’s ok to treat girls and young women as conquests, as prizes and pieces of meat to be had, consumed and spat back out. Well until they met a guy worthy of them.

As soon as MY daughter entered the world, the foundation of this piss poor excuse ridden behaviour hit me full force. NO boy/guy/man was ever going to treat MY daughter that way. I have a two-pronged approach to this.

This is part one.

I will raise MY boys to treat girls, respect women and be MEN that would be worthy of my daughter. Ok, so not technically in real terms cause that’s illegal. But I recognised the fact that EVERY girl out there is someone’s daughter, someone’s sister and deserves to be treated the way I want my daughter treated. (I’ll get into how I approach that with her in part two). If I ever find MY son has treated ANY girl in a way that I would want to cause bodily harm to them, they will have ME to deal with. They should be bloody fucking afraid. That shit won’t fly here. They WILL treat ALL girls with respect, like human beings and there will be NO exception. This is something I have ingrained from birth. Women are not objects, not conquests, are to be treated with respect and if you think about treating a girl a certain way imagine a guy doing that to your sister. Now being the only girl, with 3 brothers and an older male cousin, god help any guy that steps a foot out of line, because if you think I’m scary, then there is Daddy , brothers, cousins and Uncle Pete. My friends know Uncle Pete, he is a miner and I think would kill any boy on sight that treated his daughter to MY daughter wrong, he has my full permission.

I’m a realist I expect they will visit a strip club, out of interest. I would hope they would NOT pay to touch or whatever else. These are women who are obviously doing it hard and trying to learn a living, Interest is ok but dude if you go to pond scum territory I will cut you. Realise these women deserve respect, regardless of profession, because you have NO idea how they ended up where they are an I suggest there is a lot of baggage. Stick to the mags and online porn.

I think as parent’s it’s our responsibility to bring our boys up with a certain moral code, to have a good hard look at the concept of gender inequality and stop this whole “boys will be boys bullshit”. Because at the end of the day, parenting plays a large part in this. I think the macho stereotype is archaic, I think the standard that it’s ok for boys to have sex at 12 (with someones daughter who is likely 12) is appalling. Where are we failing as parents? We are failing due to not challenging these norms and not educating out boys the differences between being a GOOD man and just a man. Or just plain monitoring our kids.

So here are my rules:

1. No boy will have a girl sleep over until he is engaged to married. Sure I sound old and old-fashioned but I DO NOT want to have the conversation that starts with “My daughter x is pregnant to your son, it happened at your house when I thought she was at x friends”….. This will be he same for my daughter. They will not also sleep over at other genders house. You are inviting trouble. Yeah the argument is they will do it anyways, fine, but I’m not making it easy for them. These rules will be EQUAL for both genders.

2. The will be WELL educated in sex, pregnancy, STD’s and all the nasty in’s and outs of it all. The more graphic the better.

3. Porn. help yourself, its natural. But leave girls alone.

4. You will NOT touch your sisters friends, you will treat all girls like you want your sister treated and an REAL MAN does nothing less.

5. You will NEVER hit a woman. I don’t care what she has done. Walk away and be a MAN. Real men don’t hit women.

6. If you see a women being abused/assaulted ect you MUST step in. It’s not ok and you need to do the right thing. You do not just ignore it

7. If a girl treats you like crap, she is not worth your time. No matter how pretty she is. She has an ugly heart and you deserve better than that.

8.You will be a gentlemen. This means paying on first dates, pulling out chairs, opening car doors, not expecting sex and treating her like gold (if she deserves it, if not ditch her)

9. Do not play games. I f you like her tell her, if you want to message her, message her (don’t go crazy) but don’t play games. Do NOT have multiple girls on the the at once, have some self respect. It’s not studly, it’s disgusting.

10, Remember if you break these rules I’m coming after you and likely is daughters Dad.

Tomorrow I will look at educating my daughter in howto be a classy woman and how to have enough respect for herself to make sure she is treated right..

I will delve into sexual stereotypes and how they are NOT ok. Your sone wearing a dress will NOT “give him the gays” for fucks sake.

Finally I will look at how sexualized the media is and how it’s poisoning our youth and their role models are a disgrace.

So stay tuned.

I'm a slacker- Movie loves and Hates

Well truth be told it’s actually the opposite, I’ve been so run off my feet that actually sitting time and having time to write substance in here has been a total fucken clusterfuck of not just going to happen. I apologize. I hate half assed posts, filler posts and basically just words to fill space so you don’t forget me. Ha! Ok that’s unlikely.

Seems I’m down to lists. Top 10 most hate and most loved movies this week. Yeah sorry it’s not riverting stuff but you’ll just have to cope. In no particular order, rather than most hated number 1, cause it’s not negotiable.


1. The Notebook- absolute hedonistic drivel. Unlikeable characters and basically left me wanting to punch everyone involved in the face. I just didn’t get it and don’t care too. If you disagree, well I question your choices in life.

2. Matrix followed by any number – bored to death. Stupid and instant insomniac cure. I will NEVER watch all 3. I got halfway through number 1 and wanted to slit my wrists. Not for a billion dollars.

3. Snakes on a plane Samuel L Jackson what were you thinking? I have no words.

4. Magic Mike- hot bods sure. Acting and story line terrible. Not even CT could make up for this travesty.

5. Transformers Of Extinction robots riding robot dinosaurs for what seemed like a million hours. I want to kill someone. Or become extinct myself!

6. Any Star Wars Prequels – rubbish. Utter rubbish. To function I need to pretend you never existed. Gareth Edwards, I’m coming after you.

7. Captain America 1 – worst Marvel movie ever. Says a lot.

8. Twilight, any one – good god teenage angst at its worse crossed with vampires. You should have taken notes from Interview With A Vampire and recast two main roles. P-Putz and Resting Bitch face, leave me cold.

9. Mission impossible 2 through to but not including Ghost Protocol. GP I liked. The rest? Waste of time and energy.

10. Groundhog Day – so damn frustrating I could not stop watching through the hate.

11 & 12 – Lord of the Rings and The Hobbit. Read the books. Way better.

Honourable mentions go to;
To Anchorman/s, or basically anything including Will Farrell. Also most recently Sex Tape and the “classics ” American Beauty and Shakespeare in Love.

I want my money back and the hours spent watching this travesties.

Love. Number 1 & 2 not negotiable.

1. The Usual Suspects – Brilliant. Never to be beaten. Epic ending. God Will Hunting. I can’t seoetste the two. They are are genius on different levels. I can’t even compare to rank!

2. Primal Fear – Edward Norton at his very best. Must watch!

3. Bad Grandpa – Funniest movie in like forever. Acquired taste but I was in hysterics the entire time.

4. Divergent – bad movie. Theo James is a god. I’ll sit through all 4 just to watch him breathe.

5. 21 Jump Street – 1 was better than 2 but still hilarious.

6. Not strictly movies but anything by Louis Theroux  – Amazing journalist and love watching his exposes. Yeah not movie movies but meh, my blog, I can add what I want.

7. Iron Man – RDJ is swag. Second one was a bit weaker than the others but I’ll forgive it.

8. Men In Black – Never fail to entertain nothing more.

9. Fast and furious minus Tokyo Drift – really goes without explaining. RIP Paul Walker.

10. The Transporter series – Jason Stathom at his best and WITH a plot. Winning.

10. Harry Potter – gotta be in there. Though books better.

11. TED – fucking hilarious.

12. Silence of The Lambs classic.

OMG I firgit Goid Will Hinting That’s inexcusable. It ties for no 1!

I also give much credit to Schindler’s List and Saving Private Ryan but for different reasons. Gut wrenching, real life, pure horror.

Honourable mentions to most marvel movies (bar the Toby McGuire Spider-Man or X-men or Wolverine), good Adam Sandler, The Hangover and Oceans (insert number, not original)

I’ll leave the classics for another time!

Feel free to add your own.