Question My Integrity!
There are many things that could be said about me, I’m sure a lot of them are true or at least halfway there. I pretty much will own any insult you want to throw my way because let’s bloody face it, I’m sure at some point I’ve been whatever adjective has befallen me. Totally own it. I can be a crazy, ocd, manipulative, sociopathic (high morality remember), cunt, giant pain in the ass, obnoxious, snobby, bitchy ball of awesome. No doubt. Throw them my way and I’ll just smile at you. Sure I’m keeping score and wondering how I can better myself to annoy you even further next time. But be warned, there is one thing that if is ever mentioned or questioned it will have you cut…. Literally and verbally. Of course I won’t do the physical cutting, I have people for that but retribution will be swift, it will be painful and it will be as vengeful as my sociopathic/psychopathic brain can muster.
If you question my integrity or loyalty, even sniff at hinting at it and then I’m sorry whomever you are, you just made it to Epic Class A Cunt level with the extra bonus round of retribution added in, just to hammer home my point. I live by the simple rule if you don’t fuck with me, I don’t fuck with you. If you even think for a nano second that you can question my loyalty or integrity then you have stepped into very dangerous ground and you better hope to hell that the devil takes pity on you, the ground opens and swallows you whole. I promise that’s a fucking carnival ride compared to the epic journey of learning that you are about to embark on…. I guarantee you that.
While I AM many things I’m loyal to the core. This doesn’t mean I’m perfect and I’ve never strayed into disloyal territory at some point, but I ALWAYS own it and guaranteed you will find out about it FROM me the instant I realize my gaffe. I’m an open book, I live a transparent life and I would never say anything behind someone’s back that I wouldn’t say to your face. Being a sociopath has its bonuses cause while I might feel bad and remorseful for my actions, because they reflect badly on me, I will still own it like a fucking boss. Hell you might even get some of the rarest words out of my vocabulary “I’m sorry” and “I apologise”…. Seriously ask MrBmB, they are only things I say when I truly mean it, I don’t use it to placate people and I sure as shit don’t throw it around like candy. Because honestly, I’m rarely sorry. You know why? Because I never put myself in a position where I need to be.
This week I’ve had my integrity questioned over money. It’s always money. You have it, people get jealous, they want it and somehow think that by knowing you they are entitled to it. To you I say, go and get a fucking job and earn it like I did. I’ve 4 kids, I work, I’m doing a PhD and managed to run several large companies whilst pregnant. With Master 6 I lived on 4 hours sleep a night the entire pregnancy. You grow a near 10lb baby at the same time and then you’ll understand. Until then, let me assure you EVERY red cent I have to my name, every grant, every scholarship and every successful business I’ve owned I’ve cried, bled, sweated, had sleepless nights and developed a now very well-managed anxiety disorder. I’ve paid my dues in spades. Honestly, through hard work and without the expectation of CHARITY.
I come from a traditional “broken home” I put myself through uni, working 2 full-time jobs at the same time as full-time, maintained a near perfect GPA and cared for a dying relative in this time period. The short of it is I busted my ass to get where I am today. I have ZERO time for sob stories, they will get the door slammed in your face as quick as I look at you. What I have time for is grit, determination and the drive to succeed. Basically if I see you in me, then we can be colleagues at worst friends at best.
What I HATE is the money divide. Like I said everything I/we have we have earned in some capacity. No exceptions. It may look different to bystanders who don’t know us well but that’s the truth. So if you think I’m handing over lump sums of money cause we are “friends and you have a great unthought out business plan”, I’m sorry I missed all the branches if I fell from the stupid tree.
If I offer to try to help you out, out of the kindness of my heart (this is now stone cold so unless you know I’m not referring to you) I will do my very best. What I won’t stand for us backhanded insinuations I’ve somehow ripped you off or somehow misled you. Integrity. I have it, in spades and to a fault. If it went to plan and let’s face it not all things go to plan, I suggest you look squarely at your friend who DIDN’T want to contribute, rather than suggesting I’ve taken what is a pittance in my world to keep to do fuck God knows with, know that. Because I will state here and now, I tried around everything else I have going on in my life and YOUR friends weren’t interested. Not ONE, so I suggest you look at them, rather than insinuating I’ve embezzled, stolen or taken from you. Because sure as shit that’s where the blame lays. Did I say this in direct terms? No because obliterating 100 of your closest friends isn’t something I really wanted to do… But you question MY integrity and I’m passing the buck to where it falls and it’s not here.
I expect the same level of integrity and honesty from MY friends and acquainted people. I’ve been let down in epic fashion and taken advantage more times than I’d like to count. Both in monetary terms and in a personal level. It only happens once and you are banished from my life forever. I am not an ATM, I’m not a constant means of support and if you come asking me for money all bets are off. If I offer it’s because I respect you, I understand your situation and I can help. It’s a choice. But begging and complaining, instant blacklist.
So to the cunts who questioned my integrity this week I have a simple message, go fuck your self cunt. I’ve done nothing but good things for you, put up with ridiculous demands (gag order) and I’m done. I expect an apology at the very least, some groveling and the admittance you are WAY out of line. You have 7 days…. That’s enough time for me to plot an act that will make you remember to never fuck with me again, stay away from me and that MY integrity and loyalty is NEVER to be questioned. Otherwise expect the BmB reaper to appear.
I will NOT fucken stand for it no matter the source, if you’re my “friend” and the fact you aren’t banished is out of respect to another individual. Remember that. I don’t NEED the pittance you are “wronged and you think I’ve stolen” Jesus I bought 3(!) designer bags today worth 10x that much outright. You’re talking couch change to me. Raid the kids piggy banks, I’m sure there’s enough there for you.
That is all.