Well we all know I love a good rant but we also know that I like to touch on subjects that need to be brought to people’s fucking attention. Like I said I never intended this to be a “Mummy” blog cause let’s face it those things are as boring as shit. I don’t want to see a million pictures of your kid, hear their “cute” stories or basically have to deal with any children that aren’t my own or part of my work. Though sometimes the rant world and that of children collide. So I’m about to embark on a 4 (I think, who keeps count) part blog series about raising children and where the fuck we are all going wrong. Well maybe not everyone, but majority rules.
I have three boys, they are boy’s boy’s and they are a handful. Goes with the territory. What I never expected, is how my view on raising boys would be tainted by also having a daughter. How my views on the males of the species would change the instant my daughter entered the world. Until then thing were as there were, I never questioned it and basically wrote a lot of horrendously terrible behaviour on the part of “boys/men” on the gender difference. I now write it off to a society that has an abhorrent acceptance of a culture where we raise boys to think it’s ok to treat girls and young women as conquests, as prizes and pieces of meat to be had, consumed and spat back out. Well until they met a guy worthy of them.
As soon as MY daughter entered the world, the foundation of this piss poor excuse ridden behaviour hit me full force. NO boy/guy/man was ever going to treat MY daughter that way. I have a two-pronged approach to this.
This is part one.
I will raise MY boys to treat girls, respect women and be MEN that would be worthy of my daughter. Ok, so not technically in real terms cause that’s illegal. But I recognised the fact that EVERY girl out there is someone’s daughter, someone’s sister and deserves to be treated the way I want my daughter treated. (I’ll get into how I approach that with her in part two). If I ever find MY son has treated ANY girl in a way that I would want to cause bodily harm to them, they will have ME to deal with. They should be bloody fucking afraid. That shit won’t fly here. They WILL treat ALL girls with respect, like human beings and there will be NO exception. This is something I have ingrained from birth. Women are not objects, not conquests, are to be treated with respect and if you think about treating a girl a certain way imagine a guy doing that to your sister. Now being the only girl, with 3 brothers and an older male cousin, god help any guy that steps a foot out of line, because if you think I’m scary, then there is Daddy , brothers, cousins and Uncle Pete. My friends know Uncle Pete, he is a miner and I think would kill any boy on sight that treated his daughter to MY daughter wrong, he has my full permission.
I’m a realist I expect they will visit a strip club, out of interest. I would hope they would NOT pay to touch or whatever else. These are women who are obviously doing it hard and trying to learn a living, Interest is ok but dude if you go to pond scum territory I will cut you. Realise these women deserve respect, regardless of profession, because you have NO idea how they ended up where they are an I suggest there is a lot of baggage. Stick to the mags and online porn.
I think as parent’s it’s our responsibility to bring our boys up with a certain moral code, to have a good hard look at the concept of gender inequality and stop this whole “boys will be boys bullshit”. Because at the end of the day, parenting plays a large part in this. I think the macho stereotype is archaic, I think the standard that it’s ok for boys to have sex at 12 (with someones daughter who is likely 12) is appalling. Where are we failing as parents? We are failing due to not challenging these norms and not educating out boys the differences between being a GOOD man and just a man. Or just plain monitoring our kids.
So here are my rules:
1. No boy will have a girl sleep over until he is engaged to married. Sure I sound old and old-fashioned but I DO NOT want to have the conversation that starts with “My daughter x is pregnant to your son, it happened at your house when I thought she was at x friends”….. This will be he same for my daughter. They will not also sleep over at other genders house. You are inviting trouble. Yeah the argument is they will do it anyways, fine, but I’m not making it easy for them. These rules will be EQUAL for both genders.
2. The will be WELL educated in sex, pregnancy, STD’s and all the nasty in’s and outs of it all. The more graphic the better.
3. Porn. help yourself, its natural. But leave girls alone.
4. You will NOT touch your sisters friends, you will treat all girls like you want your sister treated and an REAL MAN does nothing less.
5. You will NEVER hit a woman. I don’t care what she has done. Walk away and be a MAN. Real men don’t hit women.
6. If you see a women being abused/assaulted ect you MUST step in. It’s not ok and you need to do the right thing. You do not just ignore it
7. If a girl treats you like crap, she is not worth your time. No matter how pretty she is. She has an ugly heart and you deserve better than that.
8.You will be a gentlemen. This means paying on first dates, pulling out chairs, opening car doors, not expecting sex and treating her like gold (if she deserves it, if not ditch her)
9. Do not play games. I f you like her tell her, if you want to message her, message her (don’t go crazy) but don’t play games. Do NOT have multiple girls on the the at once, have some self respect. It’s not studly, it’s disgusting.
10, Remember if you break these rules I’m coming after you and likely is daughters Dad.
Tomorrow I will look at educating my daughter in howto be a classy woman and how to have enough respect for herself to make sure she is treated right..
I will delve into sexual stereotypes and how they are NOT ok. Your sone wearing a dress will NOT “give him the gays” for fucks sake.
Finally I will look at how sexualized the media is and how it’s poisoning our youth and their role models are a disgrace.
So stay tuned.