It’s become more mainstream here in recent years and it seems to go you take your kids out or if you’re like us with small kids and a new kitten you leave a stash at the end of the drive. Of course the fault in this is you’re relying on the honor system. Yeah see that should have been my first indicator that this year’s leave and go out system was going to be an epic fail. Because kids, supervised or not have no honor. 5kg of candy gone in UNDER 10 minutes. What the living fuck? Is someone supervising these children and perhaps pointing out emptying a whole 5kg stash might be tempting, it’s a cunt move to take it all?Even more so if parents aren’t involved!
My kids were pacified due to the fact I left some aside for them and just the joy of watching other kids trick or treat and some little fucktards have taken that away from them and been massive greedy assholes in the process.
Yes I have extras and yes I restocked but having to supply 10kg of candy for what’s essentially an adult community with a few kids spattered through it speaks volumes of both the children involved and their parents. Me? I’d drag my kids back by the fucking ears, make them return it back and apologise for being little cunts. Knock on the door and in person. Because that’s the kind of parent I am and how I expect my children to behave. Here? Not so much so. If your kid turns up with 1kg of starburst and 4kg of goolish candy that you know have come from the same place, the wrath would be epic. I’d make them return every damn piece of candy as punishment and apologise to the givers, IN PERSON! Cause being a greedy cunt of a kid is not setting your child up for much of a future!
Best I could do is ring the security in the complex and have the guards out on protection police patrol frisk the kids and if found guilty return candy and send them home, banning them from participating. Yep I sure as shit went that route. Entitled adults one thing, let your kids be entitled and I’m coming after all your asses.
This might seem harsh, unreasonable even but be fucked if I’m tolerating this experience for both my kids and the others who are being responsible. I actually offered a lot of kids who found the candy bowl empty bowl that I’d get them some and they were very polite and declined and said “we have enough, save it for the kids that have missed out but thank you anyways” So it seems we are not the first house to have this issue.
Kudos to the non greedy kids and I hope the ones that stole all the sugar end up on a massive sugar high, crash and the parents have to deal with it for failing to monitor their kids accordingly. I hope they are up all night with gastro upsets from over indulgence. I hope the parents are ashamed and that they get caught by security and are made to surrender their “loot”. Kids in here range from 3 to teenagers and you just know the teenagers are at fault because lets face it teenagers are cunts.
I never set the bar high with expectations but this even falls under my bar of expected behavior. Says a lot.
For everyone else out there Happy Halloween and please don’t let you’re kids be entitled greedy cunts! Fun is supposed to be for everyone, not just the greedy. I hope I wake tomorrow with a 10kg, minus the good kids, stash of candy, some apologies and them being banned from participating next year. Yeah I hope too much but hell if I find these kids I will give these kids a verbal tongue lashing as well as the parents. Unacceptable.
Begs the question WHERE are the parents (I wouldnt let mine go out unsupervised at night) and WTF values are they teaching them?
MrsBmB to the rescue. Assholes.
** in the time it took me to write this the rest of the candy gone (another 5kg and my pumpkin jackolanterns x6 though I though I guess I should be gratful they left me the bowl I guess?)
And just like that, my wave goodbye turns back into a wave hello, again. You all remember that after 8 long years recently I walked away from Apple and got myself a Surface Pro 3 over a Mac Air. Well I am officially saying while it was a nice try, it turned into a fuctastical experience. Three days in and the damn Windows SP3 won’t turn on. Yes that’s right THREE bloody measly days and the damn thing is BROKEN. The hard reset won’t fix it and I’m over it.
I was all excited because it seemed to be everything I needed, but what I need most is for the fucker to work and it’s failed that test in under a fucking week. Actually that’s a fairly low expectation not to meet. I was just getting the hang of Windows again, which wasn’t too bad but a little annoying and then this happens. That’s it, as far as I’m concerned they had their shot and they blew it. Sure it might be a one-off, though google tells me otherwise and it could honestly happen with any device, it’s enough to make me turn my back on my previous decision and chalk it up to a learning experience. Better the devil you know and all that.
I’m not sure what Microsoft’s warranty is like, but I know my consumer rights and if its dead in under a week, then I’m legally entitled to a refund and I just couldn’t be assed dealing with an entire Windows set up again. Really couldn’t be fucking assed, when I can just download everything I want from the cloud, right to a new laptop and be up and running in under an hour. If they are anything like Apple they will try to replace the unit. Well that sure as shit aint happening, regardless of what they THINK is going to happen.
In my world if I step a toe into a pond and it burns me first shot, then that pond is to be avoided for the rest of eternity. Why? Because my gripe with Apple had nothing to do with it not working, it had to do with not delivering more. Big fucking difference. The SP3 might promise to deliver and if working it certainly delivers more, regardless of me having to get used to windows again, but not working at all…. BANISHED!! Totally unacceptable.
You might be sitting there thinking, well that’s a tough stance, it might just be unlucky. Yes it might be, but I’m taking it as a sign that unlucky means unwise to continue down this path. Why should I get a replacement and HOPE that I don’t have the same issue? Hope is fools gold. I’ve been burned… What happens if I have this issues several uses in and lose everything on the computer? Shit I need? Yeah yeah backup and all that, but its a fuck load harder on a non Apple device than an Apple one. They had their change and they blew it, big time. The specs might be better, the performance better ball blah blah but that’s only relevant if the fucker works. See the issue, the fucker aint working. Deal breaker. This is why I don’t try new things, read the last chapters of books first and need to know the end of a tv series before I begin to watch it. I hate fucking rude surprises. New devices dying in under a week, big bad surprise and the tilt is epic.
So now I have to go in and deal with the retail side of things. An exchange for an Apple Air would be fine, as long as they customise it and give the appropriate, i.e. equivalent Apple price, but as we all know retail stores do not match educational prices, which is what it’s classed as, so be damned I’m spending more on something because they can’t price match. Plus I’m not waiting a second longer than Apple takes to get it to me 1-3 days. I’m already out an office subscription and that’s enough of a loss to make me want to cut someone because I’m going to have to purchase office for Mac to go on the new computer. So that goes back too. I want that at least traded for the mac addition. No fuck that, it falls under “reasonable” cost with the return as well as the keyboard and SD card I don’t need unless I have a SP3. So full fucking refund suckers.
I’m going in consumer lawed up and let the wrath begin. Though fortunately for them they are very accommodating and refund issued for everything on the spot and Mac Air ordered on my phone via Apple Store before I leave the store.
So kiddies the point to all of this? Try new things, sure. But don’t let it bite you in the ass more than once. If bitten, go back to what you know and trust. Oh and know your consumer rights cause sure as shit they come in handy.
Now running good my new customised Mac Air will be in my hands by the end of the week. Hopefully this ends the saga. Once bitten, twice shy. It will have to take a mammoth fuck up by Apple to have me venture into new phone territory. If it ain’t broke don’t fix it! Lesson learned.
Ok,so I didn’t know I even had an inner geek until recently. There are so many TV shows, movies etc that I just can’t bring myself to watch for a myriad of reasons. Firstly if it’s fostered upon me as a “much watch” then you’re shit out of luck, cause I MUST NOT do anything. It’s an automatic response and not something I can control. NO! So there are shows like Game Of Throne (GoT) that ate sitting in my ‘Never going to happen” pile (along with a few others) and honestly I have no idea what I’m missing out on so I really don’t give two shit’s. Ignorance is bliss and this tends to drive true die-hard fans around the bend. How could I NOT want to watch? Simple. Cause you told me I just HAD to. First rule of thumb, never tell me I HAVE to do anything. Plus they don’t look that appealing… I will NAEVEr start watching a series that is not complete before I start, cause I must know the end. I stopped watching True Blood after the 3rd episode of the lat series, know the end and thats enough. Plus WTF it’s like their good writers took seasons off. Only Eric saved that show…. Total badass, cunt, love it. But that taught me a valuable lesson. NEVER commit to t TV show till it’s finished unless it’s fluff (Modern family for example). Hell I just rewatched EVERY season of Scrubs again back to back (bar the last one, like the new Star Wars they don’t exist in my world, though Dave Franco I do love you).
Though I have a bet riding on The Boss. I like, I forget I think if they win I admit I was wrong (big deal here), I dislike they have to watch EVERY episode of Glee ever made. Seems fair. (I had a similar bet on The Newsroom, which I could nether like nor dislike so we settled for them skipping missing every episode of Charmed ever made and a nice case of wine for me… Oh yeah I’m mean I pick shows not even I could stomach)
I also have this weird “thing” as I like to call it. I read the last chapter of every book I ever get first, I wait for tv series to be over, so I know the ending before they start (Breaking Bad is an example of this and i’ve yet to watch last 3 episodes, cause I know how it ends and I just can’t bring myself to that type of closure, its too final and again sends me a bit loopy) and this makes my world a nice little safe place, where I know how much time, emotion and investment to put into characters. Surprise endings? Well they throw me for a loop and I REALLY don’t cope well with them, almost as bad as I don’t cope well with predictable endings. Hell I just don’t like endings. Fuck it. So you can see what kind of fucked up level my brain operates on. Though I have to have closure in real life, translation, final say.
But hell it works for me. If it’s a movie series (i.e. Hunger Games, Divergent) then I might see the movie first, purchase the books and read the last chapter of the last book as soon as I get it. I HAVE to know how it ends, before I get invested. Saves of nasty surprises later. I DO recommend the HG books, great read (better than movies). I read the last chapter of the last book, then started with the second then went to the end and started again. Sequencing is also very important. OCD, get on board. Divergent? Well the books are crap and the ONLY saving grace is Theo James is in the movies and that alone will put my ass in a chair and I’d jump ship on Mr BmB in a millisecond if that opportunity presented itself. He knows this, is fine with it cause he doesn’t think it could happen… I see that as a challenge. My god that is one damn fine-looking man. Ok more so in the Divergent suit and that killer tat (That’s which I lost really like IRL but that’s one hell of a sexy back). I’m glad I read the last chapter first, cause fuck me that would have had me so off tilt a massive handbag binge and a pharmacy would not have saved me.
But this brings me back to my inner geek that has only just found the light of day in the form of Dr Who and Peter Capaldi. The man’s interpretation of The Doctor genius, it’s all types of quirky and is it just me or do the storylines actually make sense now? I kind of see him as the “House” (as in the Hugh Lawrie character) of the Dr Who world. He is just damn unpredictable, weird, quirky and fascinating enough to keep my interest held firm and me entertained. I can honestly say up until the last episode of the last series I had NO idea who Mat Smith was and in my mind he and David Tenant were interchangeable. No idea. I did however like Chris Eccleston, way back in series 1, not as much as Capaldi, but he was alway my number 1. He’s been dethroned and in an epic way.
Now I understand that really die-hard fans of Dr Who fans are having trouble adjusting and I’ve heard a lot more negative than positive. The overwhelming consensus’ is he isn’t like. Well I say, I think that he has turned an old, tired, weird tv show into something that is actually entertaining and I personally look forward to watching it. It’s a guilty pleasure, not so secret now. I wouldn’t call my self a Whovian, that’s far too broad but a Capaldian? I’m signing up.
I just watched the latest episode and near stroked out when I realised there was only one more left in the series. Last episode looks EPIC! This sent me into a google fit looking for confirmation of series 9 and if there was to be a new Doctor. The answers are yes and no in that order. OMG my word stopped crashing down. I FINALLY had just “gotten” something that most of my friends get and it was all going to be snatched away from me. Given the way I’ve outlined how I like to go about reading books and watching TV series, you can imagine this made me all types of OCD itchy. But nope, he’s here for one more series and at least indicated he’d be interested in a third. Happy dance time…. Yeah I’m now that weird geek I never got before, but see the difference is this is the cool/rebel version of the geek cause what I like the real fans hate. I promise this was not done on purpose, I watched the first few episodes out of curiosity. I was a bit weirded out by the choice of Doctor in the last episode of the last series, cause man he was OLD, but after the first episode I was all in. This is not tv I normally watch, actually I don’t normally watch anything, but docs or John Oliver (if you haven’t her or seen him he is a must)…
So today my inner geek died to be resurrected. Even if it was just dead for a few minutes. To this I say long live Capaldi as The Doctor and the rest can fuck right off. Except Eccleston, he can stay cause he was pretty good too.
** Just as an ironic side bar I rate The Usual Suspects and Primal Fear as the two best movies of all time, due to the twist ending that was so magnificent I never saw it coming. I recommend these if you haven’t seen them. Kevin Spacey and Ed Norton at their very finest and a should watch if you want to enrich your life. I won’t say must, cause no one must do anything but If you choose not to, your loss!
And yeah yeah spelling, grammar and all that jazz… its 2am, deal with it, it’s still readable.
The funny thing about insomnia, ok well it’s not really ha ha funny, more scratch your head in a what the living fuck kind of way funny, is that it’s during this time when the world is quiet and peaceful you realise that life isn’t quiet and peaceful at all. The actual silence and stillness is so very foreign. Actually life for most of us life is a total clusterfuck of dragging ourselves through one day, just to get to the next.
We live in a fast paced, cutting edge, go out and get em’ type world. We have so many opportunities, so many things we CAN achieve and so much we can do. This mantra is drilled into us from an early age, it’s what we tell our kids to inspire them (not all bad), we tell them they can have it all (I guess they can, or can they?) and the can be everything they want. The irony of it all is we forget to tell them is to LIVE! We take moments for granted, we miss the finer details and we as sure as shit don’t stop to smell the roses. Cause ain’t nobody got time for that!
That’s not the biggest irony though (if you can call that irony in the strictest sense of the word and since this is my blog and I can write whatever the fuck I like I’m calling it irony) is that whilst we live longer than ever before we also live harder. Not in the good way either, like the young persons creed of “party hard or go home” type hard, they at least are living in the moment, whether responsibly or not. Life is just damn hard and we have made it that way or at least contributed to a society that makes it that way.
We live in a constant pressure cooker, pushing ourselves to our limits, beyond our limits and while we have quantity of life thanks to better healthcare and medical innovation, the quality of life has gone down the drain for the most part. So we live far longer, but we also live far more complicated. Complicated is NEVER a good word. You know when you see someone FB status as “It’s Complicated” you just don’t want to know cause its going to be a total mind bend.
I’m not sure if I’ve posted about this before or just started a post about this before but at any given point in time 1:2 (50%) of the population is diagnostically clinically depressed. Then add into that 1:3 (33%) are clinically diagnosable with an anxiety related condition. They come in various shapes and forms, from generalized, to specific, to OCD, to control based and the list goes on and on. Granted some anxiety and depression are comorbid conditions a lot of the time (as in exist in parallel within a person at the same time) but we also have increasing rates of bipolar disorders, mood disorders (more general than just anxiety and depression) and even personality disorders. Yes we are better at detecting these things now, we are quick to label anything that’s not “normal” but the actual diagnostic rates do not reflect these shifts accurately, the rates are much higher than the diagnostic criterion would allow for. (Assuming that diagnostic rates are correct but you don’t want to hear me tear to shreds the current diagnostic measures, we shall save that for the PhD)
The way we live is making our brains ill. Also our bodies, but that’s not what I’m jabbering on about today. But unlike a physical ailment it’s seldom discussed and seldom fixed, well other than by throwing pills at it. We all know my great love (sarcasm) for the pill popping society we live in, hell I even joke about it, wash away the day with a coupe of Xanax. It gets a chuckle and people can relate BUT you know what it really isn’t funny and it’s fucked up that everyone can relate. What we do is just keep moving, one foot in front of another, then another and another…. The “day to day grind” You see my point. Never is the core issue addressed. Unfortunately the core issue is the way we live.
When do we take a step back, just for one damn second and ask ourselves what the fuck are we hoping to achieve here? You’re getting picture of 10 year plans, of what you want to achieve, what you want to own, how you want to live and what you want to have. All external, nothing internal right or at least mostly but the external is driving the internal? Or then the common misconception that a good external makes for a good internal. Buzz, wrong! Dead wrong.
Yes obviously we all need to earn to live, to eat, have a home, educate and clothe our children but there is also a huge element of materialism that comes into play. Look you can call me a hypocrite all you like, I love designer handbags, clothes and all things shiny and pretty. I like new technology and having nice things. I’m just as guilty as the next person, maybe more so and I’m willing to out my hand up and admit it. I like nice things. These things cost money, but today I realised (I’m a bit slow at times) they also cost far more than that, they cost us time, effort, energy, moments and even relationships with other people. Hidden costs that we don’t factor into their “price”. They suddenly don’t look so shiny and pretty anymore.
How often do you hear the phrase “time poor” in your daily life? How often do you use it? The thing is we really aren’t time poor at all, we aren’t poor at prioritizing time and time management. We CHOOSE to live lives that make it this way. We make what I believe on most levels, unconscious decision or are forced, to survive, to be part of the “rat race” and keep pushing to gain more and get greater and better. We are raised that way, it’s the culture we inhabit, it’s also the way we are raising our children.
The expectations on 6 year olds today academically are incredible compared to when I was 6. When I was 6 I was learning the alphabet and started to learn to read and write. I was also having a childhood that involved running around, climbing trees, throwing stones, chasing birds (soulless fuckers, wasn’t going to hurt them I promise), rolling down grass hills and doing a myriad of other things that you really don’t see kids doing today. Today children are expected to be mini adults, granted they are given some leeway but compared to when I was a child, not even in the same universe. I wasn’t asked to construct essays and read War and Peace for Christ’s sake. Ok maybe that’s a slight exaggeration but it sure feels like a good comparison. It’s all fine and good to want the best for our kids, for them to achieve in life but define the word “achieve” (you all thought financially first in some way didn’t you, educated, house, car and then married, children) and then question as to whether it’s coming at the price of the innocence childhood holds. Once that innocence is gone, it’s gone for good. So why are we stealing this from our children so they can be “successful” in the future?
Again define successful and take money out of the equation. Yes I know money is needed to live, blah blah blah, but let’s try to step past the wealth mentality because trust me when I say money can’t buy happiness. People joke it helps and yes being financially stable does help, but I mean heart singing, soul touching and joy radiating happiness here.
I’m sure the first thing ANY parent will tell you is what the want most in life for their child is to be happy and healthy. But sure as shit with the thoughts of happy comes success in material form in a large portion instantly rather than an intrinsic sense of happiness. Cause let’s face it living in poverty doesn’t equal happiness in OUR society. But then again how our society defines happiness is completely different, hence the term “first world problems”. Some of the fiscally poorest nations that have nothing but the essentials and their health are statistically the happiest in the world because they lead uncomplicated and simple lives. Some might say ignorance (as to what are missing) is bliss, I would just say that’s ignorant full stop.
But take a step back for a moment from that type of thinking and the achievement mentality. Ok maybe you might need to take half a dozen or so, just so you really have it out of focus. Stop, be still, be mindful of what’s going on AROUND you and what you are missing. The simple things, the tiniest beauties of life we tromp all over because we are going from point A to point B and while thinking about also getting to points C and D. Or better yet think back to being a child before we were burdened with more responsibility that we could ever have imagined or running our lives pace at warp speed. They say time goes faster when you get older, it sure does seem that way, but it’s really not getting faster, it’s us speeding up. Due to this we are paying the ultimate price, sure we are alive but we cease to live. Or at least in a for filling or meaningful way. This is what our kids see, this is what they model and this is how the reality of life is to them. Well I for one am bloody disgusted at that thought, it makes me feel physically ill.
Think back over the past week when your child has wanted to tell you something that in the grand scheme of things is innocuous, but to them it’s something worth sharing. We’ve half listened, made an appropriate noise but haven’t delved further into WHY they wanted to share this with us. Why it’s important to them and yes I know hearing about Pokemon a million times a day can make you wanna cut whomever created them, seriously. We don’t ask questions, why not? Because we are too “busy”. Or the time they made you sometime, a drawing, a painting or something equally kid like. We glance at it for s second and give them a teeny bit of acknowledgment, the “good job buddy”, and then continue with the task at hand. We don’t stop to study it, to take a really good hard look at what they’ve made, FOR us. Because we actually have “important” stuff we need to do…..Wait what’s more important than our child sharing something they have created with us and us actually being fully engaged? My mind can’t even cope with the overwhelming sense of grief of what I’ve missed out on in these moments. All because I was getting from point A to point B, thinking about points C and D and this “interruption” didn’t fit into my time poor day. The moments that I’ve missed, the gifts (not in physical terms) and insight from my children, the explanations, the smiles, the giggles, the connection I’ve not received/made and most importantly they’ve learned that we have a finite amount of time in our day to discover what is their life at that point in time. To them, in that moment they are sharing with you what is important in their world, what it’s made up of and we totally either miss or dismiss it offhandedly. They are inviting us into their world and we are too busy to even take more than a peep in, we are missing out ann they are bing shortchanged. Remembering their worlds are so very little just like them, so these little things are actually big bloody deals. They won’t be little forever and these are moments that we can never, will never get back. But its ok right, because that’s what they/we are used to? They will also be the moments we hold closest to our hearts as they grow, leave the nest and we meet our final days here on earth. Did I mention I feel physically ill?
When was the last time (with or without child, it doesn’t matter) you’ve watched a sun rise/set, stopped and smelt the floral scent in the spring air, enjoyed just being in the moment and absorbing what’s going on around you, without distraction? Totally 100% in the moment? I’ll wager it’s been a long time for all of us. When did we stop appreciating life and start just plodding through it? When did we decide that life had to start being a race against the clock?
There is nothing wrong with ambition, for striving for a dream or working towards a goal. Nothing at all. I just wonder when we’ve taken those steps back and realise what we are actually missing if a lot of the time it’s worth the cost? Maybe for some it is, maybe for others it’s not but I really think it’s time as individuals we took a long hard look at our life and wondered where did the actual REALLY living go? Do we ever do a cost/benefit analysis and factor these intrinsic things in or is it all external?
I read recently somewhere, and forgive me because I for the life of me can’t remember where. While we are waiting for our real lives to begin, we fail to see that this is life. We are forever looking towards a brighter future, a future that is not even promised to us but waiting for something to happen, while missing everything in the now. What we don’t recognise is that “the now” IS life. It’s what ewe are waiting for, we just are looking right though it.
What you might ask yourself made me have this gut wrenching epiphany today? It was one simple picture drawn by Master 3. That was all it took for me to realise life isn’t something that just happens that we are waiting for, life is a series of moments that have meaning that are strung together. It’s seeing, capturing and appreciating those moments that make life and nothing more.
Today THIS is what made me stop and think. I’m having this framed, not because it’s a masterpiece or because I think Master 3 is going to be a famous painter but because THIS was my wake up call, my moment of realisation that this IS what life’s about.
So to all my readers, while insomnia might suck ass, this realisation sucked ass even harder. (an yeah yeah grammar, spelling, editing blah blah blah it’s 2;30am deal with it)
Well actually that’s not really true because I never make mistakes. I might make very slight errors in judgment that lead to an outcome I actually didn’t want, but mistakes? Nope, never. I like to call them “learning experiences”….
Remember when I did my FB pet peeves awhile back? If you don’t you can find it here. But today I realized I forgot one REALLY big pet peeve. The bitchbooking. Now I’m sure you’re thinking I must have covered that in my last post. I looked back and while certain elements of it were there, in its purest form it was missing.
So what is bitchbooking? Basically it’s trolling without the element of friendship or even fun of trolling. It’s commenting on people’s status in a way that is just downright rude, dressed up to look like a joke. The really sad thing is, it really isn’t funny and people think you’re a massive dick for doing it! Like a massive dick, bigger than Boogie Nights type big dick. You just come across as being an asshole. Even more so if you add in a winky face at the end to try to dress it up as a joke cause you really know it’s not. Asshole move dick!
Yes there is a fine line between trolling and bitchbooking and that line really depends on the relationship you have with the person. Personally on my FB account I have about half a dozen to a dozen people who could say something and I’d consider it trolling. If it came from anyone else, bitchbooking. The difference being I like the person who’s trolled me, we are good enough friends for it and I’d troll them given half a chance. The bitchbooker? Well I really don’t like them and generally don’t comment on their statuses at all. It’s pretty likely I have you unsubscribed from my feed cause your shit ain’t worth my time. See the difference?
Then there is the bitchbooking by proxy. Where you make a remark that is addressed to address something you’ve said. I can be more specific here actually as it happened today. Remember my post about unfit mother? Well a mutual “friend” commenting “oh they are so lucky to have you as their Mumma”…. Bitchbooking by proxy.
Oh yeah feel the burn?! Nah not me, I’m actually rubbing my hands together in glee. It means that my little old blog post not only hit the target dead on but also the targets friend and OMG they’ve been talking about it and me. You all forget I can SEE who reads my blog and how often… 4 times is a little obsessive. Hit a nerve did I? Why didn’t I feel my ears burning I wonder?
Nonetheless it just made my day that little bit brighter because now I KNOW the target of the blog read it (I’m waving hello and laughing at you all just let the record show) and the people around you read it too. Though the hate mail kinda gave that away…. But hell to be bitchbooked over my lil old blog (oh fyi that blog got my most hits ever, over 1000… So there was much interest in what I had to say and curiously only 17 letters of hate and almost four times that patting me on the back) just really does make me feel all kinds of good. Cause job well done me eh? I just wish I could have been a fly in the wall when the ignorant internet royal court read the blog. Hopefully FB was in spy mode and captured it on their cameras? Cause I’d pay seriously good money to see that shit!
And with that Bitchbooker, consider yourself called out!
Those being my brain and body and the inability to allow me to sleep… Curse them both to hello and back. Only back cause I think hell might be cool and I want them to know what they are missing when they get to come back here, To be fair, they are likely to reside there in the future full-time. Hey, I just roll that way.
Now I’m really starting to wonder if my brain and body have turned against me? Sleep is supposed to be a natural thing and of course I do realise that things can go awry with the body and it affects your health. Pancreas I’m looking at you, if only you could get your insulin issues resolved I could enjoy a nice bowl of pasta again, at some point without the threat of going into a coma and losing a toe, a kidney, my eyesight or my life. what can I say my endocrinologist is a mean son of a bitch (which of course I love) and he laid it all out on the table for me. Lose the baby weight (4 kids remember), get healthy and get the sugars under control or you are going to cut 35 years off your life. Pleasant conversation. No I didn’t cry, no I didn’t throw anything but I don’t think I’ve ever been that quiet in my entire life. The reality sunk in, I have four little people who need a mother and I need to be here for them. So it became really easy, eat what I should, avoid what I shouldn’t (I can’t exercise from what I call a social media injury, i.e. face booking down carpeted stairs with freshly pedicured feet and slipping and acquiring 3 spinal fractures. One in the neck one at t5 and one at L5, so damn it I did the job well. Half assed would have been better, but hey that’s totally not my thing). I did all these things without medical intervention, I kept all my stomach and I never once thought about taking the “easy way out”… cause lets face it, unless you have an underlying medical condition, which I don’t, that’s the chicken shit lazy route. Sure it took time, dedication and an iron will but hey I got there! Not so hard really calories in must be less than calories out and eat low Gi (not NO GI) carbs and it worked like a treat. In 6 months I dropped 30kg (whats that in pounds? 66lbs) all with diet alone. So I don’t believe for a second anyone without a legitimate medical reason or pressing health issue can’t do it any other way.
I have a friend with a degenerative back disorder and thyroid potential issues, she is an idea candidate for this procede. Also one who was facing great medical risks, again good candidate. But the ones who take it as the easy route, really get my goat…. You know why, because you CAN do it, you just choose the easiest method possible. A permanent method that will affect nutrient absorption for the rest of your life. Have fun with that.
But that’s beside the point and a mini rant in my rant. I think my sleep/body clock is broken. I’ve tried sleep aids, I’ve tried old school antihistamines (which had me typing really odd messages to my overseas awake friends, sorry about that, but it’s like speaking toddler so I’m sure you got the point, or at leat I hope… nothing terrible was said, it was just a mess). The only culprit i can think of is stress but that seems to be a cop-out because it’s been going on 5 or 6 nights now and my stress levels are actually the same. If not decreased. So what the fuck is going on? My body is tired, my brain is tired but somehow the connections are not being made. Hell I even gave up the whole up of coffee I drink a day. The ONLY caffeine and I have 4 kids…. Yeah I’m hardcore.
Ok to be fair I do think a lot and chronic insomnia is not a new thing to me, it’s just been years since I had it. Maybe it thought it would just pop on to say hello, like old friends do? How do you tell an old friend they have out stayed their welcome? I’ve tried being polite, I’ve tried being rude and as you know I ca be REALLY rude…. I’m not sure what is next. A sleep clinic? Fat load of good that would do me trying to sleep with a whole bunch of machines attached to me in a hospital like setting. Hospitals alone, unless I’m having a baby give me the willy’s.
So what to do next/ Yep I’m going to sit here and whine about it. Lets face it most of my audience is in the middle of the day anyways, so you can read it and then sleep peacefully at night. Have I mentioned I hate you for that?
I’m open to suggestions here…..
Also on that note, I’m open to post contributions. They can be as wild or as tame as you like. You don’t have to put your name on them and I will post them. It’s a nice way for other people to get topics out there that I might not even think about. For those you who are thinking “vaccinations” this a hot topic button for me, so I’m willing to give it a go, but we might end up having a heated discussion blog. Actually that might be kind of cool?
So on that note, I’m trying my 200th cup of warm milk or the night a bath and trying to gt ANY sleep. I’ve totalled 7 hours in 5 days… I’m waiting for the delirium to kick in or maybe it has already? Who knows. ,may delirious i’m “normal” Bahahaha I can’t even type that without bursting out loud…. Though my spelling and grammar seems to be worse or I;m pickling up on more. Safe bet is door number 2.
Do dear readers your tasks are:
1. Cure my insomnia.
2. Listen to me whine till it’s fixed.
3. Get your asses into gear and write me some great contributions. I promise minimal editing, I have no real boundaries other than hate speech, violent or pornographic content (i.e. picture, but you may talk about the impact they have on society) and I would REALLY love some real psychological debate on here, since that’s what I’m trained in.
Well actually that’s not true at all, but it sounded all kinds of cool to title a blog that, so why the hell not? But yes today Apple did lose me…. Just as I predicted.
See I needed a new notebook for my research and Mr BmB took his back. It’s a Toshiba so more fool him really. I waited out the new iPad to see what it had to offer me, nothing too great other than it’s gold. So I was left pondering what should I get? It needed it to be portable, light weight and frankly my iMac just doesn’t really fit the bill. I will add in here I don’t mind the new Yosemite, some changes bug me but being a little OCD change drive me a little loopy. I’m sure I’ll get used to it but I swear some of the changes were not needed, just popped in for changes sake.
That annoys me. If there is a reason for some of them it might become apparent but they way you close down applications and get a new screen up? Why? Just why? It was fine the way it was! Well that my user opinion, I’m in no way a tech specialist so maybe there is a reason. Might be helpful if I took the user guide but that’s like asking a man to read instructions before assembling something. The step that happens after you mess something up.
But back to my need for what I like to call a ultrabook. It’s basically a great functioning min laptop. Yeah yeah the Apple stans are all screaming Mac Air at me…. BUT….. I decided, due to my disdain with my iPhone 6 (is it just me or is it glitchy as hell?) Programs shutting down mid usage, slow loading and a gyroscope issue that’s driving me batty in fucking messenger and my camera that I wanted to evaluate the market.
HP while always being very good to me in the past, all my computers before Apple were HP. But they are being sold off and their prices are crazy. Like mental. Yes I will pay for a good product a good price BUT their specs didn’t really hold up to the extra they wanted to charge for their tab/laptop combo. I don’t need 1tb of storage thanks to cloud like systems snd SD cards slots. Their other specs very similar if not slightly lacking compared to Apple or Windows.
So I went in and looked at the Surface Pro 3, which btw presently has MASSIVE discounts for students/education/research NOW before you go jumping up and down at the price. On Micrisoft website only, stores can’t match it. Remember that, order from Windows online. Core i7 1800AUD FYI, top of line, not the baby sister core i7 at 1500 AUD approx , USB, SD slot, 1″ smaller screen but better resolution (than Air) and retina display, cooling fan and the rest is in line with a custom-built top of line Air top of lines identical price with student discount. Though having to purchase a yearly subscription to Office is total bullshit. I’d happily be using 2007 if I could!
You know where they lost me? This is a tablet that can be used as a laptop and try that with an iPad. Possibly but specs are too low to function as s good ultrabook. Secondly, the touch screen. I’m SO used to it now that not having it seems archaic! Apple will never go there because then they think they will leech consumers from getting both iPads and Airs. They are right…. Makes me hate them more! I can feel them hsnging me from the ankles, trying to get out all my loose change… But that’s so Apple. If they combined the devices who needs both? So in a round about way being spoilt by Apples touch screen and old innovative ways have spoilt me. A new Air not being slated till at least early next year and I was out the door. Let’s face it, I was heading that way anyways.
Apple as I’ve said in the past with the iPhone 6 and 6 Plus and lack of innovation just have totally lost me. The brand means nothing but old and stale technology and the android (why do we call it that? It make it sounds like they are invading from out of space it something, when they were here first!) have well and truly caught up and surpassed them.
So I’ve relinquished my place in the Apple cult and now see them as the poor cousin. Even the OS update left me cold, nothing remarkable there. It even has me pondering my next phone. The only thing that keeps me with an iPhone is the apps, but we are seeing a shift towards more android users and in sure the app market will follow.
So today Apple you lost a very brand loyal customer, I’ve had an iPhone since the 3s (all of them and never waiverr in brand loyalty, remember the 48 hour epic no sleep bender?) and my iMacs maybe 4/5 years and I’ve lost all interest in iPads. Given them to the kids. They are toys. I’m too old for toys. Being 26 😉
Something for them to mull over me thinks! Because I’m sure I’m not the first, won’t be the last and when they say Samsung had lost 60% of market to Apple we need to keep in mind this is s trend that always follows a new phone release. It will readjust and the time period they measure a very well picked one. Plus Galaxy tabs are crap but show the innovation androids CAN have, but watch out we have a new player in the Windows Surface Pro 3 (let’s forget the 2 existed, they’ve evolved)
Have have to say it you’re a bitch! I’m sure you’re female, cause really no man on th face of this planet would go to so many lengths to torment someone. Ok, maybe they would, but I’m going on a hunch here. There is nothing like being the only one awake into the wee hours of the morning and having none around. At first this was a novelty and I really relished my “spare time”, but now I’m working I have a bit more of that (i.e. kid and husband free time, not that I don’t adore spending time with them). But then add in 4-6 hours at night, in the dead of night, with nothing but random thoughts that fly through my brain at warp speed, it becomes a bit of a crazy and dare I say it lonely place. I really could try to keep all my thoughts written down but guaranteed in my type of shorthand, in the morning they would make little to no sense. Add that in to the 3 hours of sleep I’m averaging a night and it’s just enough to send me that more around the bend and produce another sleepless night.
I honestly wish it would piss right off. I’ve tried cutting out coffee, much to the horror of all those around me,m not to do too much stimulating stuff (get your mind out of the gutters you pervs) and relax before bed and NONE of it is soaking in. I’m trained in this field and I know ALL the tricks, but I swear my brain like to fuck with me just or fun. Almost ALL of my best ideas come to me as I’m drifting off to sleep and I have to get up and write them then and there or they are lost forever. Of course being a verbose writer, this takes a lot of time because while I’m a bit lax with the spelling and grammar, I’m really into detail when it comes to planning. I write it so a 5-year-old can understand it. Cause lets face it at 3 am I have the mental capacities to write with a 5-year-old and my sleep deprived brain thanks for me it in the morning. Hell I’ve been known to have entire text conversations at 3am and not remember a damn word of what I’ve said, though they do seem to make sense. I think I wrote a manifesto once… I’ll need to look that up. God know what it was about. This time last night I was renegotiating my phone contract. Yay for 24 hour call centers.
I’ve had people say “why don’t you go to a sleep laboratory” and the answer to that question is fucking simple, I don’t have a sleeping issue, I have a brin turning off issue. I think if it ever went quiet, my only thought would be “Am I dead or dying”…. Because I really can’t reiterate the speed at which thoughts come into my brain and even get them on to paper in a cohesive a readable manner. You should try listening to me in person!
There are random linkages to the thoughts, I know this, but unless you were to delve into the recesses of my brain, which I don’t recommend, it makes jack all sense as far as logic goes to anyone else.
So here I am stint up at near 1am bitching about not being able to sleep, again, third night in a row. You lucky bastards get to listen… Ok now to something a bit more productive internet shopping. At least its a way to pass the time and what can MrBmB do? At lest I’m not hassling him from the light on my phone while he is trying to sleep. Its funny 4 kids, 1 husband, a cat and this place feels empty…. or boring, which ae interchangeable terms in my life.
I have a few, no related to any post revenge plans to cook up, so that should keep me busy for a while. After the shopping!
May the Sandman find the way to your house, cause he sure as shit can’t find me!! Point him in my direction, pretty please and thank you!