I Expect Too Much….


Well I should have known, since my first day at work yesterday went epically well that to balance things out the universe was going to be a massive pain in the ass today. I SHOULD have expected it, but as usual I expect too much and it comes back to bite me in the ass. *sigh*


If I ever needed proof that we live in an ass backwards country, this would prove my point. You’ve already heard me rant about government departments who pass the buck and have you chasing your tail to find out who is responsible for what. The end result being no one is responsible for anything, unless they are chasing you. You try to get them to act on a complaint, around you go. So why should our postal system be any different?



You all know I purchased and sold several iPhone 6’s to overseas buyers, for a nice little profit. Yay me right? What I didn’t count on was the postal service refusing to carry items due to the fact they have lithium batteries and are classified as a “dangerous good”. You would think since said batteries can be taken on commercial flights, both in cabin and cargo, that there would be no issue. I’m certain several million iPhone’s, iPad’s, iPod’s and laptop’s ect fly each day with no fucking issues at all. You want to send one overseas unaccompanied, like a small child, then they refuse to take it? What the living fuck? It suddenly becomes a “dangerous good”. Oh you can send IF you take the battery out. Yeah Apple and the buyers would love that, goodbye warranty and plus I wouldn’t know how to even start to try to remove a battery. They are called Apple Geniuses for a reason.

So at 8am this morning I get a call from my local post office, “your parcel has been refused by customs, please come and collect”. Oh Jesus fucking Christ, really? The only reason is the battery. So I start to panic as I have 6 phones paid for that have international homes to go to. Hang on a second, how did they get here? They were flown in cause on the side of the box says “assembled in china” and as sure as shit they didn’t come by sea. Ironically they are going back to China.


So I do a little bit of digging. Turns out this is POSTAL customs we are talking about, not FEDERAL customs. Federal customs have no fucking issue if you fill out about a gazillion forms and get them sent by DHL. So the post office AND their head office really have no fucking idea when it comes to customs. “It can’t go out of our country and it can’t go into China”. What you REALLY mean, but don’t say “is through our service cause we are a bunch of fucking assclowns and have a stupid dangerous rule in place because we are too lazy to look at paperwork”.



One phone call to DHL, phone is declared, booked, paid for and they will pick up. Great. Three times the price but hell at least it goes to where it’s supposed to. Though I have to treck to the post office and deal with plebs to get item back. No issue on the item but when they wanted to keep my fucking postage fee I lost my shit! What the fuck do you mean you are going to keep my money because you accepted something for post that you KNOW can’t be posted? What it is is written on the customs form. Epic tantrum ensues and for me to epic tantrum it’s like the equivalent of an overtired 3-year-old, coming off a sugar high who is sick and all kinds of pissed cause the iPad has run out of batteries. Major, epic scene. See I’ve learnt in the past the bigger the tantrum, the more likely they are to give you what you what you want just to get rid of you. Absofuckingloutly worked again. It should never have needed to cause me to lose my shit. You don’t provide a service and then why the fuck should I pay you? So at least my loss of total control and ranting and raving got me back my postal fees. Likely burned off a few calories too. I’ll take it.

first class


So I sit here and wait, with my gazillion pages of paperwork for the private courier company to come and pick up the phone, to pop it on the SAME plane as the national postage service parcels, for three times the cost. Just because we have a lazy government-owned postal service. Well this fucker better be sitting up there in first class, cause that’s the ticket I paid for. Assbackwards country, you really have some explaining to do. The ONLY country in the world that won’t send phones through the postal service and you need a courier instead. So today you earn the title of Epic Grade A Cunt, for both that and trying to rip me off. Lets just hope the day improves from here on in, but you know if it starts off bad before your feet have even hit the carpet that things are NOT going to go your way today. So breathing deep and just rolling with it. Pass me the Xanax and some wine and let me wash the tilt away!