Fuck You Further Apple!

Ok so I’ve just seen the new adverts for the iPhone 6. What the fuck were Apple thinking? You weren’t!  They are the worst fucking ads I’ve ever seen. I don’t care who’s doing your voice overs, you just contributed to making society a dumber place. Anyone who likes them should be shot on the spot and we know how I feel about gun laws. Apple. You’ve pissed me off so many ways today that I can’t even start a proper rant because I don’t think I’ll ever stop. Plus your ads gave me the dumbs. So all I have is “what the living fuck” and involuntary dribbling. Thanks for that. My nose even refuses to bleed because you aren’t worth it.

Now that brings me to the watch. Again. What the fuck? Firstly, it’s ugly. Functionality be damned I’m not wearing an ugly watch. I don’t care if you have a gold version or a pure diamond version. It’s U.G.L.Y…. Like so much so it comes under the list of things that once seen can never be unseen and it you could dig into you’re brain and dig it out with a spoon, you would! Fuck you!

Next?! It’s a fucking pedometer dressed up with an apple logo, attached to your arm, seconding as a watch and you need an iPhone to use it. So way to try to boost iPhone sales, through your less than innovative pedometer watch. But fuck you I’m not an idiot. I can download a $2 app for my phone OR but a pedometer for far less money and still wear a pretty watch. See where the fuck you failed? It’s a one hit wonder fad. Idiot apple zealots will get it, just because it’s Apple and I will be able to make an instant IQ assessment. People who buy shit just because it’s Apple? Fucktards with no common sense. The watch is stupid, face the fact and DON’T go there. If you do I’ll judge the fuck out of you.

Oh you can use it as a phone if you link it to your phone that you need on your person at the time? Ok that’s ass backwards too. Just use your fucking phone. What are we back to “Get Smart” with the phone watch? Stop watching old TV reruns. Though the cone of silence for your ads would be appreciated. Argh! So you’ve basically invented a smart watch, of which there are many that exist already. How about an independent watch that’s a phone. Too hard? Try fucking harder!

All I’m going to say to those who say, let’s wait and see how it goes. How are Google Glasses working out for you?

Apple that’s three things you’ve done today to piss me off. I can’t get my phone TODAY, the Plus version of the phone and the stupid watch. Add in not being able to master a wi-fi card that works properly and I’m seeing red.

If I didn’t want the iPhone 6 so bad, not the stupid plus version, I’d break up with you and banish you and purge you from my life. You better hope the iPhone 6 is good and nothing better comes along. Otherwise, we are done.

For all if this you go on the Gonzo wall! And no pictures for you either, asshats. You and the Blitz don’t deserve them!