I Wouldn't Even Know What This Is Called….
Well I’m going to start this blog with the preamble that it’s likely to be as boring as fuck. Yeah I know, how is that possible right? Cause I’m giving you an insight into 15 minutes that is my mind, in real-time. It’s a hot mess up in there! But my god after one read over, I could shoot myself just to stop the mind numbing pain of dullness. I do try and proof read FYI, I just suck at it cause I’m a skim reader. Yeah the grammar and spelling police hate me and I’m sure it makes other people loopy but not as bloody loopy as I go trying to proof my own writing. I know what I mean and when you skim read, it’s a skill, it all reads the same. So that you will just have to live with.
Now lets face it not every 15 minutes can be rant filled, cursing filled, cunt ridden thoughts. If that was the case, then I’d likely have killed several people by now. Because even those of us who can pretty much find rage in any situation, well we need to chill a little bit too. Otherwise, the ranting and the swearing and the hate wouldn’t really be a gift, just our personality. That personality would suck. Mine is a gift to my personality and not all that I can do. Believe it or not I can actually write like real peer reviewed literature too. Without ranting, cussing and going mental. It’s as dry as fuck but I find the area interesting, so suck it. Though I’m pretty sure this gift of curse filled ranting makes my personality shine like the sun. Or burn like it. A lot depends on who you are and if you’ve pissed me off.
It really doesn’t take much to annoy me but to piss me off, Toll Priority style, it has to be an epic clusterfuck! Though the fact that my internet seems to be wanting to fuck with me today by connecting and disconnecting, is really starting to venture into that territory…. And by venturing, I mean I’m really already there. Is it the internet Apocalypse all over again? Or does life really just hate me that much today? Or do I hate life? It’s 50/50 on that one.
So you just never know what might come. Or it might be WordPress with the issues and not my internet by the looks of things. I think? Oh for fucks sake. Can’t anyone invent something that fucking works when I need it to? Let it screw up on someone else’s time. Especially when it comes to the internet? It seems the answer to this question is NO. So fuck them! How damn hard is it to keep a website running? I’m no computer genius but I’m going to assume someone out there is and they should be in charge of sites like WordPress, rather than dogs playing poker and smoking cigars. There are Monkeys at FacebookCunts and those birds at twitter with their fucking audits, which is still happening and driving me batty, they can fuck themselves too. Yeah I can piss people off, but to be unfollowed by 20k followers in less than a single hour, not even I’m that good. Well at least I don’t think and I never underestimate my ability to piss people off. Since they seem to have audited me weekly in the whole 4 weeks I’ve been on twitter and this happens every single time, to right itself at some random future point. I’m still pointing my finger at a Twitter audit. Again. Tech support is code for “complaints section when we don’t really have” and you can waste your time emailing us to not get a reply. Ever. Bastards. This I have learned applies to Twitter as well.
Don’t even start me on Ebay and the app and the whole types of crazy it has gone over the past 3 days. Since they upgraded it. Yes, I would add in a postage option if you fucking gave me one to choose from other than a blank screen. And no I’m not hauling my ass downstairs to try my luck on the computer, with the internet that has a mind of its own because I just know this is going to be a wasted trip. Then I will have to deal with the stupid buyer who wants me to declare the item as a gift, so they don’t have to pay customs duties. I’m really fucking sorry buyer but customs fraud is not on my list of things to do today. I state this specifically IN my listing. It also means that I’M the one not covered by PayPal (that’s a laugh in itself) if something goes wrong with the transaction and the bag you want to buy for several thousand dollars “disappears” or you decide it’s fake, even though I have the receipt. Meaning you get to destroy (or keep) fake bag and my money, because your country’s version on PayPal actually has customs regulations that mean you can’t post back illegal items. Here we can post illegal things domestically (not internationally) unless they are specifically stated you can’t. Yeah, we are ass backwards. Though try to bring that shit in and you right in a stinking pile of shit. Because sure as shit PayPal is not going to back the person who committed customs fraud and who has had several run in’s with them in the past.
I naively used to think they were great because they offered you as the consumer protection. I was wrong, dead wrong. Acting as a merchant for a site that sells proven, by the fashion houses, fake designer bags and making me chase my tail to get the fucking proof to then just have me turn around and post them back to them to get my refund is an epic clusterfuck and cheers to our postal system which allows it. Which of course they will then resell to the next naive fucker. All because in their land now counterfeit can’t be proven AT ALL and everything is just Significantly Not As Described. Sure as fuck it’s not as described. The fact it’s not actually PRADA was a big hint. I guess they really don’t want to be held accountable for all the consumers buying these fake bags, at a hefty cost, when the company is in liquidation. Means it comes out of THEIR pockets. But it’s fucking ok, I’ll deal with PRADA and Givinchy’s legal teams, who are on my ass about wanting these fake bags, due to me contacting them at YOUR request, while you continue to charge pleb consumers for you fucking useless buyer protection. Though sure as shit if I marked something as gift, you would fry little old me. Fool you, my crusade in life is now to sink you. You’re welcome and the compensation I got out of you will NOT stop me. Fuckers, I owe it to the other consumers you are robbing blind. See I do have a moral compass after all!
It just gets better, the internet REALLY hates me today, almost as much as the Gun Culture rant days. But this is the internet generally and not American’s so there is a subtle different. Fuck it all to hell now Twitter thinks I’ve been hacked and taken it upon themselves to suspend my account. Fucking brilliant. Only took me several hours to realise, because along with all the hate mail I get (I think of them as love letter by the way or cards of congratulations for a job well done), it has its own separate email account I never bloody check. Because basically I don’t have the inclination or fucking time to deal with hate mail or administrative things. I have people to do that shit for me. But it’s the weekend. Who gives a fuck? They got a call and I demanded that they found out what the fuck was going on, so I could bloody fix it. I don’t care if you’re in the middle of your Father’s Day lunch, I’m having a social media crisis and this damn shit better get fixed pronto. Oh and wish your dad a happy Father’s Day while you’re at it. Yes I’m hard work and you need to spring into action before I cut you, but no one can ever accuse me of being fucking rude! That’s just unacceptable, manners are free, so don’t hoard them. Fucking use them.
See this preamble was actually written after the blog, cause even I was having a fucking snooze when I was trying to read back over it. The thoughts that poured out of my brain, while what was pouring out on to the screen while so very random was frankly boring as shit. You know why? There was far too much stuff in there about me, which I normally love to talk about, but not enough ranting. In fact there was no ranting at all. So I’m now all fucking all sorts of disappointed in myself. What kind of rant blog has minimal ranting and just the purging out of random thoughts as they enter my brain? It’s a wild winding journey and an epic insight into how I can’t keep a thought process going for too long without tangenting, but really it’s not that fun to read… Or maybe it is cause it makes you feel a lot more normal? Don’t use me as a yardstick for normal, cause that’s one thing I’m not. Guaranteed. No exception to that damn rule. So what blog reads like the Wizard of Oz on crack when you’re just spewing out whats swirling around? Mine apparently and even I fucking hate myself for that, so you are/would be mighty fucking disappointed too I’d think. Well if you actually like my classless, trying to be whity and curse filled rants. If you find them offensive then why the fuck are you still here? Oh because you are a hater and are addicted to me. Well get in bloody line. I’m well aware I give you the rush like snorting cocaine, off the ass of a hooker. I’m all kinds wrong but in the best possible way. Yes, that is a Wolf On Wall Street reference and I may or may not have eaten something carb heavy, before adding my postamble, preamble. Being diabetic, that would make me officially and legally high as a bloody kite, no harm, no foul. Just don’t tell my endocrinologist cause he is a right prick. Actually I’m demanding you don’t tell him and I can do that you see, cause I really do whatever the fuck I like, the vast majority of the time and hell I’ll even tell you about it, because I’m a narcissist and it just adds fuel to my narcissistic fire. Which already burns bright, so put those sunglasses on and saddle up I guess, if you’re sticking around for the long haul.
Or until the point where I offend you by calling you stupid for believing in something as ass backwards as the second amendment being so fucking important. I was called anti-American over that. What the living fuck? If I was anti-American I’d be all for your second amendment right to blast the shit out of each other. I really wouldn’t have an issue. What I am is anti stupid, anti dumb and anti idiotic. Which the second amendment is in spades. But we covered this and I think anyone that disagreed with me has already fucked off, well for the most part. Except the passive aggressive troll. Yes,I’m fucking perfect, so I will throw stones, fucking deal with it.
Well now this actually just became a little more interesting, so the mind inducing dullness of what is to follow might be able to be excused.
Oh fuck it reader, I can’t even be assed posting boring as fuck blog today. So all you get is the postamble preamble. Trust me I saved you from the deepest recesses and pondering that was my non rage filled brain this morning. We will save that treat for another day. You’re bloody welcome.
To all the fathers out there happy Father’s Day! For all those drop kick dads who pretend they don’t have a kid/kids, get your shit together and pay for your fucking spawn you balless wonder. You’re a total dick! Best you stay away from said child and just pay the fucking bills you helped create. Let’s face it, it’s the best thing you can do for them. Don’t let them become fucking you, ever man-child. There are enough drop kick fathers around, best they don’t have you as a role model!
See I do have a caring side!