Number, Numbers And First World Issues!
Numbers are a bitch and no I’m talking about math, algebra or even bank the balance. This is something that can send me so far off tilt in the shortest amount of time, that is has to be world record speed. Whether the numbers go up or the numbers go down. Because I’m left here scratching my head as to what caused these ups and downs. See reader it’s NEVER just a small rise or a small increase we are talking 1000’s of up’s and downs. Twitter, you are an evil mistress. Your numbers boggle my brain and your as just so fickle, in such large number that I’m all sorts of itchy. One morning it’s like winning the twitter lottery, the next it’s like it’s been viciously snatched away. The funny thing, it’s not the unfollowng that actually annoys me, because I assume with the way I write that I’m likely to piss people off at the drop of a hat. It’s the OCD in me that sees the drop in the ACTUAL number and it gets me sorts of itchy. Think hives, upon hives, upon hives, that NOTHING is going to fix till those numbers go back up. Akamai, not to blame to today and there is no Internet apocalypse, so either FBC have taken over twitter for the day, Twitter is glitching or the numbers are real…. Ok I’m going to need a few Xanax today washed down with some wine and I’m also going to have to hand them out to those around me. Because dear reader, my first world woes are not done. (Ps if you can help sort this twitter issue, known now as shitter issue, out please do…. Though I’m sure if you’re like me the idea of me obsessing over numbers is so amusing I just made your day….) But yeah back to my first world problems.
I’m going to an event on Friday, a nice event, a happy event and like every woman since the beginning of time I have nothing to wear. I thought I could solve this problem by online shopping, ages ago, that didn’t pan out too well. Either dresses haven’t arrived or they are terrible. Mostly the former, but several of the latter as well. I’m chasing you fuckers down FYI! Not happy. So this explains with 3 days till event, I am FORCED to go out into the world, deal with people and actually buy things in person. Fuckity, fuckity, fuck. This is not going to end well, especially on top of the twitter numbers sitting in the back of my head and singing Taylor Swift to me. Fuck Taylor, at this point if I could “Shake It Off” I fucken would, trust me. But being a narcissistic, OCD, control freak, perfectionist, psychopath these things just don’t come so easy to me. A therapist once said to me, why don’t your try denial. What the fuck? A therapist that suggesting you step foot INTO denial. Well that’s a first and the reason she was banished. Being trained in that area myself, while the concept had some merit, it’s really not an area you shove a personality like mine it. God knows what harm could come of it.
So I’m to venture off into the big wide world today, taking Mr BmB with me, to protect others, to try to find suitable attire for said event. This of course includes shoes, accessories and everything else that goes with it. Makeup, bag, earrings, perfume and the list can go on and on. Mr BmB will hand over the Amex, without question, because after being together 10 years, he knows that while spending wont make ANY numbers better, it might just make me feel that little bit better. Saving the souls of others. They say money can’t but happiness and they are right, but what they fail to add is that it can sure as shit help with unhappiness. I’m also blaming Mr BmB for the twitter fall. I normally don’t bow to pressure about what I should post and I take full responsibility for my last post, but it wasn’t the one I’d actually chosen to post, it was written weeks ago and it was just sitting there while I mulled it over. Yeah peer pressure is a bitch and even the best of us can succumb to it. Lesson learned, till next time someone hands me a cocktail and tells me to drink it…. I have an epic post about the songs that anthemise (is that a word, it is now cause I say it is) my life. Totally rockin post and no pun intended, well maybe a little.
So as I haul my ass up out of my office this morning, ha yes this all on works time, as will be the rest of the day. All I can hope is that the dress hunting is quick, the sales assistants are quiet or Mr BmB with baby BmB keeps them occupied and the bitch that is the twitter mistress solves whatever the issue is that is going on with my account. Because until then, I’m living in a drunken Xanaxy plain and I’m pretty sure the event I’m going to on Friday will require me to look nice and fresh, not like I’m on the tail end of an epic Vegas bender. Though I could always blame MXGC for keeping me up all night, smothering me in love. I mean that literally, I really think she is trying to smother me, to get to Mr BmB (cat crush in the worse extreme and reciprocated)….. You know what I’m calling it early, today sucks. Someone deal with it, quick or I’m pleading diminished capacity for all my actions.
Though SG is back to Manila, taking DG with him in spirit, today, so things really could turn around!
I should add in there a quick goggle search tells me a lot of people experience sudden drops in twitter likes, especially if your account is growing well. As they audit account to make sure they are not spam and they suspend accounts for publishing material that breaks their code if conduct. Well none of my subscribers would do that would they? I have faith. If I can get away with what I post, there can’t been too many rules. Lets hope the twitter help desk is more efficient than most. Though the blogs for the songs that anthem my life was brought to you by the receptionist at my doctor and being on hold for FAR too long, so good can come from bad. Luckily I had the Xanax RX filed yesterday!
And for good measure:
